In short, he’s destined to win. But he’s annoying as all get out. If you thought Christian from last year was bad, prepare for Suede. But there’s not just Suede. There’s Blayne. Blayne likes to declare things ‘licious. Anything can be -licious. Girliscious. Suedeliscious. Timlicious. It doesn’t seem to matter. He also decided Heidi is Darth Vader. Reasoning? Because she’s all shiny and put together and then cuh-razy on the inside.

How does Blayne know Heidi is crazy? Is Heidi crazy? Am I crazy for not knowing this? I don’t think so. And I don’t think Heidi is crazy. I think we know who’s crazy. Blayne is crazy.

But I will keep watching. Because I am addicted.

In other news, I was excited for Kitchen Nightmares. But alas, it was a repeat. Fall TV, I miss you. I will wait for you. I will walk the widow’s walk in anticipation for when you come home and round the bend into the bay that is prime time. I will be faithful. Do not worry. I’ll be true to you.

Here is what I went to Dublin for…

Anyway, and everyone in the thing is ooing and aahing like it’s this big accomplishment. Verdict: Dumb commercial.

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I placed two bets for the Preakness today and lost. It was exciting and then not in such a quick period of time. I guess that is what gambling is. It’s over so quickly.
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I hate David Archuleta so much. I think I just have a problem with people that seem like everything is great with them. That it’s all just smiles and happy faces. I like people to look like they have a little misery in their life. They seem like a more genuine person then. Is that a really awful thing to think? But I do. So I’m down for David Cook for the finals in American Idol. If Archuleta wins, it’s a win for Pollyannas everywhere and I think we know that is one more point for evil.
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Huck Slim is up again tonight at Sidewalk Cafe. I am aiming on those people that read my blog incessantly and so will see this an hour before the gig and decide to go. It’s going to work. I just know it!

INTERVIEWER: Impressive resume. Flatulent in three languages. Graduated top of your gas…

then an assistant breaks in…

ASST: Your son Rip is on line Toot.

Brilliant people. Brilliant.

#1 The Sean Bell Verdict. All the police dudes go free! Yikes, hopefully there are no riots.

#2 Carleigh is voted off American Idol. WHAT? What of Jason? Brooke? Yeesh.

Hopefully, there are no riots.

The last time I was in Dublin was like 10 years ago. It’s changed a lot. For one, the country’s doing a lot better. And two, our country is doing a lot crappier. This combines to make things crazy expensive! And they have a lot more American and European stores there. Which makes sense, in that the city is a lot more cosmopolitan. But makes shopping for something uniquely Irish a little bit more difficult! Still, it was a great time and everyone was really charming, funny, and friendly as you’d expect. The River Liffey still flows through town and produces the lovely lovely pints of Guinness. People still flock to Temple Bar. And the Molly Malone statue still sports an impressive amount of cleavage. So life goes on in Dublin town.

I got in early on Monday at like 5 am. Had time to sleep in my hotel for just a couple of hours before my first costume fitting. I was worried I was going to be in a giant diaper. (Because I was playing a man baby.) But luckily, I was just wearing the world’s most expensive pair of pajamas. Seriously, people–these pajamers cost 200 euros. That’s like four hundred dollars! Yikes!

Anyway… I ended up wearing this little vest as they called it what we would call a tank top and the WMEPOP bottoms. And because my chest was showing had to get some makeup on my chest and shoulders too. I’m glamorous, what can I say?

So the whole thing is I play a guy who just won the lotto and has his new life so I am in a swanky bed with my jammers and a rolex watch and surrounded by all these irish nurses. Take a look!
Here is the whole shot of the military hospital which was converted to a maternity ward. Apparently, there was a baby that was six days old that was on the set too. So that way I guess no one can complain that the newborn babies don’t look like newborn babies. No flies on these guys, right?

Irish nurses and me. (Elaina, Claire, Caroline, and Bridd)

And the nurses who were at the foot of the bed(Clair and Liz). Missing from these are the two other nurses Mary and Cheryl. It was all of the nurses’ jobs to make me laugh so they took turns doing dinosaur impressions, snufflelufagus, and pretending to flash me. Not a bad way to spend a couple of days, right?

This smacks of something the actor was like, I think it’s important that I’m lesbian even though(correct me if I’m wrong) it’s never in the show. Weird.

Then, they said ok, can you keep moving. First, we need to wait but now we need to move? Make up your mind red carpet handlers! Finally, we are trying to make it through past the slinky starlet when one of the handlers comes up and says sorry Nate, this is Nate Skelky from the Mayne Event and holds up a piece of paper with my name. Nice. Shelkey, I corrected her. And then she told them the same thing. I guess she trusted her paper more than me.

The photog crew begrudgingly took a photo of me. And then an ESPN camera crew interviewed me for a second where I got to tell of my fabulous fame as Goat Dog.

Nate Skelky: Famous Person.