I forgot to post some thoughts on the finale of Hell’s Kitchen this week. Forgive me! I know you were curious. Last night, I watched Top Chef too so I can offer some thoughts about both. Double Bonus!

Okay, so it went as expected with HK. Who won? Rock did. I felt bad about this of course because Julia turned a bit traitorish on the girl’s side. She was surly and sullen and gave Bonnie quite a bit of attitude. It got to the point where they ignored each other at times. So you knew at that point, she wasn’t going to be great as a head chef. You gots to communicate, girl!

Look at Rock, he had Josh weighing him down big time. Josh keeps maintaining he can cook and he’s a great cook, but I’ve never seen him cook something successfully in the entirety of the show. Maybe he cooks well at home. That’s prolly it. He also cooked a bunch of stuff at the same time AGAIN. When we know that in a fine restaurant, things are cooked “al menu”. I learned this from Hung on Top Chef. That means, made to order. One at a time.

But Rock dealt with it, he switched Josh to a station of just having things be warm(the Warmelier?), which he was able to handle. I think he put Vinny on fish, which seems just as dicey, but he made it work(Hmmm Tim Gunn?).

So what’s the morale of the story? Never give your restaurant to a nanny.

Okay, on to Top Chef. This week, they had Daniel Boulud. He has the uber fancy (and expensive) french restaurant Daniel in NYC, which vies with Jean-Georges as one the best restaurants in the city(as well as chefs!). Everyone’s expecting haute cuise but…

The quickfire was making burgers. I thought that Howie was a bit of an ass kisser in this b/c he went all truffles which I guess is a signature dish of Daniel’s(a $120 truffle burger). So instead, CJ won. I like CJ a lot. He’s a likeable guy and according to Top Chef is the chef the viewing audience would most like to share a midnight snack with. I could see that. I think I’d prolly rather spend it with Casey. But if CJ was there too, to chat it up, I wouldn’t mind.

So no longer does the quickfire winner get immunity. Instead, he gets to pick his team. So he picks the team with the least drama queens. It’s him, Brian, Casey, and Tre. Then you’ve got the team of the fireballs in the other side, with Howie, Hung, Sara, and Dale.

It wasn’t as clearcut though as you’d imagine. So they have to divide up because it’s the Restaurant Challenge. And (Restaurant April)CJ put Tre in as Executive Chef, Ceej takes sous chef, and Brian is front of house. I forget what the fourth position was. Hmmm… Anyway, on the other side(The Garage), Sara nominates herself as Executive Chef, Howie is sous, Dale is front of house. And again, oops can’t remember what Hung is.

So Dale rocks the front of house except he can’t smell and puts some stinky vanilla candles out. But Brian is a mess as front of house on the other side. Both meals come out inconsistent. The Garage is too winter-y and robust. And April overcooks their’s.

In the end, they decided to do a redo no-fairsees next week. Which makes sense to me. This time you’ll really get to see who can get blamed for what. I would have booted Brian. However, he’s never done that before so you have to cut him some slack. But next week, he better be on his game!

I think I’m a little tired of the classic “isn’t-this-house/apartment/hotel room-amazing?” shot. It’s used in just about every reality tv show these days and I think it’s become hack. We get it. It’s really nice. Yay. Get on with it. In the beginning of Real World, we were impressed. But no more. We’re over it.

Then they have the big challenge which is to cook their signature dish to a bunch of the best chefs in Las Vegas. Bonnie narrowly wins. But I think there was some hanky panky in the judging. She was winning handily when a whole slew of the last few judges voted for Rock. And they kept saying that he had to win or else he’d be out. I think the judges knew this and voted accordingly to add to the drama. Considering that the last few judges were the last two winners of Hell’s Kitchen! Seems a little fishy don’t it?

Anyway, Bonnie won anyway for her shrimp and lobster pasta. That means she gets to pick first for her team. She picks Jen. Rock picks Brad. And then the interesting times begin. Instead of picking Julia who’s clearly next best, she picks Melissa the shrewish L.I. chick. Meanwhile, did I mention that Julia is in tears the entire time that she’s here? So I kind of don’t blame her. Rock picks Vinny instead of Julia as well. Finally, Bonnie picks Julia and Josh is left to be last for Rock.

The first time that Julia shows some b*tchiness is shown when she says she’s rooting for Rock. I guess Julia believes in bros before hos too. A lot of people are saying that it’s going to be Rock hands down. But I don’t think so. I think the nanny steals it. She’s got a better line, plus she doesn’t have the Rock Rage issues.

Hopefully, Rock doesn’t have risotto on the menu or else I forsee problems. Stay tuned for next week!

Is it just me or does Jen really cry at the drop of the hat? And here’s an awful statement, doesn’t she look really gross when she’s crying too? But some people look good when they’re crying and some people don’t. And Jen doesn’t.

So Bonnie remains and so does Rock. Did you notice too how Rock cleaned up his act BIG TIME last night? So who is the real Rock? Is he the respectful dude who showed up last night or is he the guy who proclaimed he doesn’t work with b*tches?

And Bonnie looked remarkably adept in the kitchen. Was that a fluke? Or did she finally get it? I think she prolly does get it, but when it was all of the rest in the kitchen it made her nervous. People breathing down your neck and such.

It’s been said before, but worth noting again—why do people always lose it when their parents come? They are only away from them for like three weeks? And they always go to pieces when they show up. These people are adults. It’s weird!

Other notes:

–Rock doesn’t seem too comfortable “at the pass”. Not everyone can be Ramses when they are controlling things. But he looked awkward.

–Bonnie shows that you don’t have to be Ramses either at the pass. She calmly went over to Jen and explained what was wrong with the risotto. So she didn’t seem like she was trying to be someone she wasn’t, didn’t anger Jen, and got the result she wanted. Call me crazy, but that’s some good leadership skills. This is going to come in handy when they call everyone back from before to work the kitchen for them in the final service!

–Back to pastries for Jen. At least she got that grand worth of cooking loot! Classic example of winning the battle, but losing the war here.

–Bonnie will win the whole design your restaurant thing, I predict Rock picks something stark and a little impersonal for his design. Then again, I wonder what his Southern Creole restaurant looks like?

All in all, I’m rooting for Bonnie. But can a personal chef really run a whole restaurant? Dunno. So this is a revisiting of last year–great palette, artistic hottie chick vs. the more accomplished chef. However, Heather from last year rarely seemed fazed in the kitchen whereas Rock has huge rage issues. I say Rock goes all Hulk in the last eppy and Bonnie wins narrowly as a result. But maybe Ramses will like it when Rock goes hulkazoid?

But my beloved Ramses said he was going to send her to culinary school and then invite her back to Hell’s Kitchen. Pretty cool! (Be honest, girls. You swooned! You wish he were sending YOU to culinary school.) I think he was right–she had all the skills, just lacked the know-how. When she comes back, she’ll totes know what creme brulee is!

Also, Josh got booted during the middle of service! How exciting was that? I was thinking about Josh this morning when I had an omelette at the cafeteria. The dude was working 4 omelettes at once. And they all came out perfect! Maybe risotto is more difficult than an omelette. But I don’t think that spaghetti is.

In other news, Rock continues to fall into a whole bunch of crazy. He then proceeded to call the other girls b*tches. Classy. Doesn’t he know that the girls can call each other that, and Ramses can do it. But he cannot. He looks like a giant ass when he does that!

So Bonnie was proven to be the queen of the service. And she chose Rock and Julia and Jules took the fall. Rock was lucky. Could have easily been him. He’s going to have to be really good next week. Or else he’s out!

What do we think? Can the nanny prevail? I don’t know. She’s a lot like Virginia. Pretty. Creative. Excellent palette. But a little mousy and a little shakey in service. Mostly just not a machine like Julia was. But she can be good. So we’ll see. I am rooting for her just like I was Virginia.

I want to see Rock talk about himself in third person when he gets booted. He’s next!

–This is a song my brother wrote and we recorded it on our birthday. The fun thing is that I got a phone call while we were recording so you can hear me in the not so faint background. I like to imagine it has the same poignance that Simon & Garfunkel’s “Silent Night” cover has with the evening news on in the background. Only, less artful. That was not an Art Garfunkel joke, but if you wished it was, you can just act like it was.

–I just went to an audition today in a waiting room filled with various people from different time periods. The best was a dude dressed up like a viking complete with like leather armor and a sword and one of those horn hats. Who has those things? I was chatting with Dave Hill who was there too about how many calls this guy must get. Are Vikings in constant need? Let’s hope so. Or else this call spent too much dough on a horn hat.

–I’m in Rob Lathan’s awesome life coach show(Get Psyched!) again this Saturday at UCB if you’re around. It’s @ 7:30 and we’re after Eliza Skinner’s show too. I’m excited to finally see that one.

–At least once a day, for the past 2 weeks someone has come up to me at work asking about the Manny. It’s amusing. If only for the fact that no one normally comes up to me at work for stuff I do outside of work(maybe the ESPN stuff, and commercials). But at least not with this frequency. Today, a guy came up that I haven’t worked with for like oh five years? He came up to me in the burger line and said, “I gotta hug this guy cause he can sing!”

That’s all for now.

Premise

HK-A handful of chef hopefuls compete to win the executive chef position at a new restaurant in Las Vegas.

TC-A handful of chef hopefuls compete to win seed money to open their own restaurant.

Advantage: Push. The only difference is that the Top Chef peeps get full autonomy over what they are doing.

Host

HK-No real host. Action is moved along via cuts and voice over.

TC-Indian model chick. Watching last night I had no idea who she was. She is so striking that it’s almost distracting. No, strike that. It IS distracting. After some wiki research, come to find out that she is related to food. She is a cookbook author. Also of note, married Salman Rushdie.

Advantage: Hell’s Kitchen. The Indian model chick makes me think I’m watching Project Runway. It’s better to concentrate on the contest itself.

Contestants

HK-Whole range of contestants here. From a Waffle House line cook, to a retirement home cook, to an executive chef. They’ve got it all! Last year they had a prison cook. This year a nanny. Which is neat. But clearly, some of these people are better then others… as opposed to…

TC-All the people who are really good cooks. Well, with the exception of that hick country guy from the first episode. Still, the rest? They all know what they are doing. If you put the TC crew on Hell’s Kitchen, they would all be able to consistently pan sear scallops, rest their wellingtons, cook a rissotto, turbot, etc. I’ve pretty much described most of the HK menu. That seems to not change at all from season to season. Why don’t people just sit there and practice that sh*t? Anyway… so you have great cooks. Do you lose some drama factor?

Advantage: Top Chef. Actually, you don’t lose drama. The drama in HK is built in because you just KNOW that someone is going to rip into the Waffle Cook chick. But in TC, you’re not sure who’s going to get testy. In HK’s this season, for example, you still haven’t seen someone really shine. That kind of hurts the balance of the show. It also makes you wonder who is going to win and if they do, would you really ever go to their restaurant?

Judges

HK: Well, it’s just the one guy. But what a guy! Gordon Ramsay is a certified *sshole! And he has an outrageous temper. So the whole show you’re waiting for him to call someone a cow or donkey. You know he’s going to stop service. It’s just a question of when.

TC: You’ve got the hottie chick from Food & Wine mag, the big chef dude, and then a rotating third judge, as well as comments from the host chick. Watching the show, I always didn’t respect the host chick’s opinion. Even knowing she wrote a cookbook, I still don’t. I don’t know what it is. Again, I think it’s the whole model thing. That’s shallow, right? But there it is. Anyway, the others are really good. But there’s no danger.

Advantage: Hell’s Kitchen. You’re getting mostly sober critiques from the TC group. Whereas Gordon Ramsay is going to cut these people down to size. It reminds me of our acting teacher in college. He was harsh. So harsh that people were afraid to take his class. Same way with improv. There’s one of them that just gives some really poignant notes. And many people purposefully avoided those classes. But I loved them. Because you knew if you were doing crap, you were going to hear it. And if you did well, then you were doing very well if they said something.

Challenges

HK-They do pretty much dinner service for quite some time. During the day, they have some smaller challenges like the palette test and prepare your own meal and things like that. But by and large, it’s getting through service. And it never really changes that much. Just who they are serving and who judges them sometimes changes.

TC-This is one of the best parts of this show. It combines the best parts of something like Project Runway and Iron Chef. You get to see these people’s creativity because they really have to come up with some things on the spot. With not a lot of time to do it. I will say this though, the TC dudes don’t have pressure like the HK kids do. But, if they were put under that, I think they prolly would shine.

Advantage: Top Chef. The challenges are all different. The infusion of the new judge every week helps as well. You see a lot of different kinds of food too. As opposed to the repetoire on HK.

So the end tally? That’s 2-2. It’s all tied up. I’m going to have to watch more Top Chef to see which I like better. I think they are prolly different strokes for different folks. The real foodie would enjoy TC, whereas the reality junkies will love HK. Me? In a dearth of tv, these summer shows are great!

People are up in arms about the tart business there. But it’s not something that hasn’t been said before. I don’t think it was that egregious at all. I think he’s right. It’s precisely what has been happening with CBS News and anyone who doesn’t think so hasn’t really watched it lately! It’s ridiculous.
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Some TWIB Notes:

–If you are watching tv and see this Stop & Shop commercial where a bag of cat food and dog food are talking to each other? And the cat food is hitting on the dog food? That cat food is voiced by me. Now, I just eagerly await my exploding pants commercial(I am not making this up).

–Cavs/Spurs: Most boring NBA Finals of all time? Prolly. Somehow it isn’t as exciting seeing Bron Bron in his first finals as I thought it could be. But the problem is he has nobody to play with. And he just lacks the killer selfish instinct to be a one horse johnny.

–Hell’s Kitchen is on again! (It’s pretty good. I’m not sweet on anyone has much as I was for Virginia, but still good.) I am so happy for something to cut through the summer glut. If anyone has any suggestions, I’m open to them. So far, I am watching Creature Comforts and Hell’s Kitchen, and come next week, The Flight of the Conchords.

–Speaking of, we saw them last night. They were great! I think, dare I say this, even better than Tenacious D!

–Dyna was asking me if Brent and I are going to wear matching shirts again this year. Brent’s wife Meredith does this cute thing where she buys us matching shirts every year and makes us wear them. Don’t know if that will happen this year or not. But my favorite still was the Hawaiian shirts from our 30th. I should compile a photo collage of our matching shirts. Note to self.

–Huck Slim goes into the studio again this weekend. So hopefully after this w/e 6 new tracks will be ready for a demo. Exciting! Look for it soon.

–I think Toys ‘R Us is running some sort of scam. Or maybe the cost of moving sand really is expensive. I wanted to get a sandbox for my nephew this week but the shipping on sandbox is $200! Yeesh. So I guess we’re going to wait until I see him in person to go get it. It’s just as well, this means I get to play in the sandbox too now.