That’s like saying heaven is a really nice place.

Well guess what? Yogurtland is a REALLY nice place!

Why? You might ask. I think it’s about the freedom involved. Because you know when you go to 7 Eleven and you are trying out the slurpees you feel a little dirty trying more than one or two. In fact, there’s not easy way to do it. And when you’re at Baskin Robbins and you’re asking for a sample, same problem. Even worse there because you have to ask for those sample spoons.

But at Yogurtland, they understand that the best thing to do when dealing with all these yogurt fiends is to get out of the way. And let these people just be with their yogurt. And their toppings. So you can try one. You can try two. You can try three. You can try 15. There’s no judgment. You don’t have to apologize for taking ten minutes to decide what you want. And you don’t have to feel gross for putting sour patch gummy worms and strawberries together as a flavor combination. All this is possible under the sun.

At Yogurtland. So YES Yogurtland, I will be coming back. And YES, I will be enjoying you early and often. I’m going to start forwarding all my calls there. And conducting business meetings there as well. They make a big sell at movie theaters to have your next business presentation there(and who has ever really taken them up on this offer? Is it that much more exciting to see a power point presentation 60 feet tall? It’s still a power point presentation.) But what if you had yogurt with that meeting. Think of how much easier that pill of some dry presentation would go down. And with Cinnamon Toast Crunch on top too. And the gummy worms. Don’t forget the gummy worms.

But now I think I might have to take a break from the italian sandwich. It’s too much, too fast!

Similarly, my relationship with coffee was sullied from doing a play in college where I had to drink cups upon cups of black coffee. I also had to smoke streams of cigarettes. But I didn’t mind that because I was already smoking a pack a day. Plus you got free smokes! But the coffee was different. Because it’s on stage, it had to be cold or just merely warm, so you wouldn’t burn yourself. And more often than not, it was cold. A few nights into the run we figured out you could just use stale coke instead. But the damage was done. Not a big coffee fan anymore. Which sucks because out of all the things in life that are free, coffee is one of the things that is free the most.

Still, I have a feeling prosciutto and I will meet again and the meeting will be tender and emotional and we will forgive each other for all our past wrongs. And eat each other. Or at least, one of us will.

Louise

When I first moved to the East Village, I was alarmed at the price of pizza. Places started raising their per/slice price (PSP) from around $2 to then $2.25. And then sadly $2.50. At those prices, it makes so much more sense to buy a full pie because the per/pie price(PPP) is hovering around $12.

Then last fall, a place opened on St. Mark’s next to Kathrine’s apt. Their PSP was shocking. $1! What a steal! Of course, it was an introductory sale price and surely going to disappear after a week or so right? WRONG. It’s still here almost a year later, still flaunting their $1 PSP. We wondered how they could keep this up. They must be losing money.

But clearly they weren’t losing money, the other pizza shops in the East Village were. And most particular the one a few stores down. And like some great airline price war, it was on. $1 PSP! I noticed another pizza place as far away as 10th St being affected because they briefly put up a hand written sign with a $1 PSP. Now it’s $1.50. But they aren’t right by the original insanity pricing.

Neither of these two shops are like a traditional price war where there’s one big giant store that wants to edge out the smaller store by offering a cut rate price because it will be able to slash its profits until the other store goes bankrupt and they push them out of business. No, these are two small stores that seem if not Mom and Pop like one store johnnies. So who’s going to blink? I don’t know. But I hope it continues. I love this $1 PSP. Sadly, the rest of New York’s prices haven’t followed suit. So I’m still following the price of Coke.

Then I sat down and Siobhan said that they had to save some of the items on the menu for the reviewer from Food & Wine. Then it hit me! It was Gail. Gail Simmons from Top Chef! NICE.

I had the cassoulet and the Aventinus. I’m pretty sure Gail tried everything on the menu. But it just goes to show you, both Gail and I have great taste.

Right now, I have these shows being recorded:

–Prison Break
–Top Chef
–Tim Gunn’s Guide To Style
–Heroes
–Mad Men
–The War(PBS doc)
–SNL
–Mad TV(to watch Kula(!) and Dipps’ work)
–Colbert
–Daily Show
–Journey Man

Wow. I think that’s it. I taped Journey Man because I like that actor from Rome. But I snoozed through it. So it’s coming down. But last night, I finally got a chance to plow through some of the muck. Still not through it all but I got a chance to watch Top Chef finally.

So one of the things I like to do the day after I watch Top Chef is to read Gail’s blog and Anthony Bourdain’s blog. I just noticed there are other blogs. Which I knew before because I on occasion will read Tom’s blog and Ted’s blog. Then I realized that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Because you could still read Padma’s blog. But don’t forget Rocco DiSpirito’s blog. And Barton G’s blog. Oh and what about Harold Dieterle’s blog? And lest we neglect Lee Anne Wong’s blog.

Or Ilan’s blog. Sam Talbot’s blog. Marcel Vigneron’s blog. Carlos Fernandez’s blog.

And Andy’s blog.

That’s right, they have FOURTEEN BLOGS about the show! That’s completely overkill. They have like say, 3. Maybe 4. Do we really care what Padma thinks? Personally, I only care about Gail and Anthony, and then occasionally Ted and Tom.

Anyway… the final in Aspen is going to be Dale vs. Casey vs. Hung. It’s prolly really just Casey vs. Hung. I’m rooting for Casey. It’s a lot like Hell’s Kitchen really. The technicians versus the artists. These chefs are so much more accomplished though than the Hell’s Kitchen folks.

Who you got?
————-
Also, I want to know how to get a note to Tim Gunn. I want to know what the 10 staple items for men’s clothing would be. What do you think?

I’m thinking:

–All Purpose Suit
–Fun Or Seasonal Suit(different color, or different fabric)
–Dress Pants
–Classic Dress Shirt
–Casual Pants aka Khakis
–Jeans
–Sweater
–Sportsjacket or Blazer
–Casual shirt
–Polo or similar(I hate the real polo shirt, I like a modified polo)

I need a new sweater I think, a sportsjacket/blazer, and a fun suit.

Based on Heather’s recommedation, I’m going to start taping Kitchen Nightmares tonight.

This is McClure’s Pickles from New York by way of Detroit.

A close-up of their signage.

And the selection of pickles that I purchased for home. Note the folksy spelling of watermelon.

Yum! [Note: Neil Casey claims to love pickles and even wears a Rick's Picks shirt. But he was nowhere to found. What a poseur!]

So I thought I’d make a sub sandwich out of it, and sauteed some mushrooms and then got out some shallots. But they were rotten. I didn’t realize that onions could go rotten, but they can! They can look downright gross is what they can do. Threw them away. And decided to just go whole hog and make it into some sort of stew. I cut the sausages up into slices.

I added black olives, capers, diced tomatoes, cashew nuts, apricots, enchilada sauce and topped it off with some lemon juice to add to the liquid base to give it something more to boil off. And I simmered it forever. Trying to form a make shift ragu.

To add to its quirkiness, I scooped it into a pita and ate it that way. It was good! But maybe that’s just because I made it myself. Maybe someone else would think it was gross. Hmmm… I shall find out when I have the leftovers what my second opinion is.

At least this was more successful then when I was a kid and decided to make bread by putting salt, flour, and water on a paper towel and putting it in the microwave. It rises into a giant air bubble and deflates. And it gets stuck to the paper towel. Oh, and it tastes nothing like bread. That’s the problem with that recipe.

Or the time Brent and I decided to make gummy berry juice. Remember the tv show? The gummy bears had a special juice that would make them bounce.. We figured if you melted gummy bears, that would make the juice. But it doesn’t. I just melts it into a foul smelling and tasting jelly. So there you go, two recipes for free of what NOT to make. Don’t ever say this blog isn’t educational.

I forgot to post some thoughts on the finale of Hell’s Kitchen this week. Forgive me! I know you were curious. Last night, I watched Top Chef too so I can offer some thoughts about both. Double Bonus!

Okay, so it went as expected with HK. Who won? Rock did. I felt bad about this of course because Julia turned a bit traitorish on the girl’s side. She was surly and sullen and gave Bonnie quite a bit of attitude. It got to the point where they ignored each other at times. So you knew at that point, she wasn’t going to be great as a head chef. You gots to communicate, girl!

Look at Rock, he had Josh weighing him down big time. Josh keeps maintaining he can cook and he’s a great cook, but I’ve never seen him cook something successfully in the entirety of the show. Maybe he cooks well at home. That’s prolly it. He also cooked a bunch of stuff at the same time AGAIN. When we know that in a fine restaurant, things are cooked “al menu”. I learned this from Hung on Top Chef. That means, made to order. One at a time.

But Rock dealt with it, he switched Josh to a station of just having things be warm(the Warmelier?), which he was able to handle. I think he put Vinny on fish, which seems just as dicey, but he made it work(Hmmm Tim Gunn?).

So what’s the morale of the story? Never give your restaurant to a nanny.

Okay, on to Top Chef. This week, they had Daniel Boulud. He has the uber fancy (and expensive) french restaurant Daniel in NYC, which vies with Jean-Georges as one the best restaurants in the city(as well as chefs!). Everyone’s expecting haute cuise but…

The quickfire was making burgers. I thought that Howie was a bit of an ass kisser in this b/c he went all truffles which I guess is a signature dish of Daniel’s(a $120 truffle burger). So instead, CJ won. I like CJ a lot. He’s a likeable guy and according to Top Chef is the chef the viewing audience would most like to share a midnight snack with. I could see that. I think I’d prolly rather spend it with Casey. But if CJ was there too, to chat it up, I wouldn’t mind.

So no longer does the quickfire winner get immunity. Instead, he gets to pick his team. So he picks the team with the least drama queens. It’s him, Brian, Casey, and Tre. Then you’ve got the team of the fireballs in the other side, with Howie, Hung, Sara, and Dale.

It wasn’t as clearcut though as you’d imagine. So they have to divide up because it’s the Restaurant Challenge. And (Restaurant April)CJ put Tre in as Executive Chef, Ceej takes sous chef, and Brian is front of house. I forget what the fourth position was. Hmmm… Anyway, on the other side(The Garage), Sara nominates herself as Executive Chef, Howie is sous, Dale is front of house. And again, oops can’t remember what Hung is.

So Dale rocks the front of house except he can’t smell and puts some stinky vanilla candles out. But Brian is a mess as front of house on the other side. Both meals come out inconsistent. The Garage is too winter-y and robust. And April overcooks their’s.

In the end, they decided to do a redo no-fairsees next week. Which makes sense to me. This time you’ll really get to see who can get blamed for what. I would have booted Brian. However, he’s never done that before so you have to cut him some slack. But next week, he better be on his game!

I had him cut me a tuna steak. Only it was huge, so I cut it up even further when I got home with my new slicing knife. I started building my little spice collection at home. Collecting anything has a sense of satisfaction to it. Unfortunately, some of the same brand of spice were not available so I had to mix and match. This disturbs my sense of completion. It’s like collecting a bunch of Spiderman comics only to find out they’re out of Spiderman the next time you’re at the comic book store and you have to buy Batman. Fine, sure. But not the same sort of satisfying.

So I know you’re wondering but I TOTALLY secured some garlic powder, some cayenne pepper, some cumin seeds, some cilantro, and some coconut oil. Nice, right? I ALREADY had some sea salt and lime juice. So I mixed all spices together in a bowl—it’s like I’m some sort of apothecary or something. And then I put some scoops of coconut oil in my skillet on high. While that was heating up, I coated the tuna in my magical spice powder. Then I threw the tuna in the skillet. That was dumb b/c hot coconut oil splashed on me. I’m a pro though, so I brushed it off.

Then I started chopping up the cilantro, I freaking MINCED it people! That was for a garnish for the tuna steak.

Unfortunately, this is when things started to fall apart. Because there was a lot of smoke from the tuna searing in the pan. So much it got hazy in my apartment. I started to cough. I turned my fan on high, I turned the a/c on high, I turned the exhaust all the way. And I opened my apartment door. Jake is smart though. He was laying right by the door low to the ground. I didn’t raise a cat to be no fool. Smoke rises! I bet he was testing the doorknob to see if it’s hot too.

Like I said, I’m a pro, so I shrugged it off and I flipped the tuna. Then I doused it with some lemon juice(it called for lime juice, but I can improvise too). Then I finished it off. Shut off the burner and waited to die in peace.

But not before sprinkling the cilantro on the tuna steak. Hello people! I cooked it perfectly! Lightly brown on the outside, nice and white on the inside. Then I paired it with a really light and surprising beer, called STELLA. I said, I’m gourmet right?

Anyway, it was good. But the sad part of it all was I realized I prolly should not fry things up too much b/c of the horrible ventiliation probs in my eensy weensy kitchen. It’s a shame because I clearly have mad skills.

But that’s ok, because the next thing I’m making is chili and that will be mostly simmering, after I roast open these special Mexican chiles I secured.

-Top Chef