I’m in the new Dockers’ campaign which is premiering during the Super Bowl. Look for it tomorrow! I’ll post a link when it’s up on the site.
[Edit: I found it! Here it is...]
Kissing In Precipitation
You know, everybody talks about how kissing in the rain is so romantic. Or when it’s snowing. Nobody ever talks about kissing when it’s hailing.
That’s because it’s not.
Song du Jour: If I Could Say Goodbye
Here is week 5 of Song du Jour. It’s called “If I Could Say Goodbye”. Not much to say about it, but I’ve had this progression for a little while and a suggestion of a melody so this morning I put some words with it. Enjoy! Or not. As always!
If I could say goodbye
You’d make it easier than I
Because you’d….
Take all our words and box them up
Wrap a little bow on it and then just shut it
But it’s just too much for me to do right now
I need to move on somehow
If I could say goodbye
I’d have to let go of why
Make a memory of the past and let it go
And let today lead tomorrow into the unknown
I hear your voice in my sleep
But when I try to speak
I don’t make a sound for me
I guess it’s too much for me to do right now
but I need to move on somehow
This is me saying goodbye
It’s harder than it was in my mind
If I could say goodbye
I tried
Fore!
As unlikely as I thought it would ever be, I’ve taken up golf here in LA. But only in the smallest of ways. Every week, a bunch of us get together and play at the little 9 hole par 3 course. It’s easy. And everyone’s bad so there’s no way to feel like you are a complete imbecile. Which I positive would be easy to do on a full sized golf course. But it’s par 3 so you can only do so badly. And if you get a 7, then you just move on.
But I was thinking about something the other day. The whole “Fore!” thing. It’s fore, right? Not four? Anyway, I can’t be bothered to look it up. But you know when you hit a real shitty shot, you’re supposed to yell it out so people know something’s coming.
It reminds me of something my friend Dave and his friends used to do. If you were sitting around and then you started to make a joke and it started to go badly, you could stop mid-joke and then say, “pass” and people would let you do it and not give you shit about it.
Because otherwise they would be on you like jackals for your lame ass joke or story.
Well, I think we should be allowed to yell Fore(or something similar) when this moment happens in life. Like if you do something stupid you could just yell that and then like no worries, be on your way. And by yelling that it’s like you acknowledge you did something stupid and you forgo the lecture afterwards, or evil looks. You couldn’t do it for like really huge things. It wouldn’t work for example for like raping someone or murdering them. But more for like, you said something mean about someone and it turned out to be the person’s brother that you were talking to. Or say… a really awful pick-up line. (By the way, I think cops and all authority figures enjoy giving lectures. Twice, I’ve been stopped by a cop and asked, “Do you want a ticket or a lecture?” I like my medicine so I took the lecture both times. And as far as lectures go, they were pretty feeble.)
(Also, did you hear about this new possible fine for texting while driving? They’re talking about it being $2750 for getting caught doing it. I love it! Finally, a fine that has some teeth. Of course, this means I should stop texting while driving so I’ll have to think about that.)
Anyway, so if I do this around you sometime. You will know what it means.
Song du Jour: House of Pies
Here is week 4 of Song du Jour. It’s called “House of Pies”. Because we live near the House of Pies and I thought… what if someone really built a house of pies. Why would he do that? I also decided to deliver it spoken word ala Tom Waits or Shawn Mullins. Because… why not? Enjoy… or not!
House of Pies
I built a house out of pies
Not a very good disguise
But it’s worth it
See my enemy hates pies
Frankly, I don’t know why
But it’s true
Maybe someday he’ll get someone
To eat their way through
but until that day comes
Let’s not worry ourselves blue
When we’ve got cherry, and lemon, and apple
Plus there’s all the berries
Blue, black, razz, and straw
That’s a crapful, right?
So let’s not worry, take our time
There’s no need to eat in a hurry
These pies will last a while
So what do you want to talk about?
Oh come on, you don’t want to hear about him
Doesn’t everyone have an enemy?
Isn’t it enough he’s out to get me?
That’s right I said he wants to really get me
So I’m just gonna hide out
And maybe this’ll blow over in a while
And in the meantime, we can play cards or eat pie
Remember I built a house of pies
I’m not exactly sure why
But it’s worth it
You know how many girls love pies
Like they were going out of style
Let’s be honest that’ll never happen
But it’s true
When we’ve got…
So come and sit with me
I built a swing set next to my house out of pies
So we can pass the time
And it’s worth it
The Clown Room
An item of interest in our little ‘hood… Jumbo’s Clown Room. What is it? Apparently, it’s some sort of bikini bar ala Deno’s Party Room in New York. But I’m fascinated by it and have to go one of these days because… is it clown themed? I think that’s amazing if it is. Because I can picture the owner thinking, “What’s a really erotic theme I can base my place on? CLOWNS! Yeah, it’s not just me everybody is turned on by clowns!”
Because they are.
Right?
Concierge: The Series
Here’s a new webseries I’m in that I’m excited about… It’s called Concierge: The Series. It’s written and directed by Tim Cooper. And stars a bunch of UCB-ers including Kate McKinnon, Jill Donnelly, Lance Rubin, and Tracey Wigfield among others.
I play the hotel manager who’s in charge of a less than desirable hotel property. But he doesn’t seem to realize that.
Concierge: The Series
There’s three episodes there, so enjoy!
Song du Jour: Down Franklin
Song du Jour, Week #3! This one is called “Down Franklin”. It was inspired because Porter said I should write about a street in LA that hasn’t been put into a song before. As far as I know, it hasn’t been. But probably someone will alert me right away to this fact. Anyway, the street is in question Franklin Ave that goes through the heart of Los Feliz where we live. Check it!
Down Franklin
Let’s go down Franklin
(Let’s go) down Franklin
(let’s go) down Franklin Avenue
It’s Sunday afternoon
It’s just raining
So we can’t blame it anymore
On the things that we do
So let’s go
Down Franklin (let’s go)
Down Franklin (let’s go)
Down Franklin Avenue
On the Avenue
We’ll catch a late movie show
We’ll have to sink really low
In the seats so we can see
It’s only you and me
Down Franklin
Down Franklin
Down Franklin Avenue
On the Avenue
You don’t need to wear your makeup
It’s just gonna come off later when we go…
Down Franklin
Down Franklin
Down Franklin Avenue
It’s Sunday afternoon
The Usual
One of my low-level fantasies is having some place that I can go into and some cute waitress with Maxwell House eyes* will say, “The Usual, Nate?” And I’ll say yes.
I could also be like some guy named Mac. That’s fine too.
The other part of it is I want to have some corner booth somewhere and that’s like my “office” like Fonz had at Big Al’s. And then I could say “step into my office”. Or I could forward all my calls there.
So basically like all the trappings of being in the mob but not actually being in the mob.
Remember, I said low-level fantasy. I have bigger ones than this. But still, sometimes you have like one quarter powered daydreams. And they’re stuff like this. I think I’ve found where my booth could be last night. I will take a picture of it next time I’m there.
I am keeping this quiet as to where because I want to make sure I will be open to secure my “office space”.
Ro-Co Research
Still need to write out my resolutions but one of them is to finish a screenplay. So I’ve picked my genre, which was easy. Romantic comedy or as I like to call them “ro-co’s”. I prefer this term to “rom-com” which I feel has a decidedly internet-y sound to it. Ro-co has more zing to it. Anyway, I’ve decided it’s going to be a large-ish cast ala Love, Actually. So today at Best Buy, I spied my touchstone for 9.99 in the Bargain Bin. SCORE!
So in training, I’m going to re-watch all of my favorite ro-co’s. If you have one, please list it here in the comments!
I love all Richard Curtis projects so Love, Actually natch, and then also Four Weddings And A Funeral, and Notting Hill. When Harry Met Sally. 40 First Dates. Some Kind Of Wonderful. The Apartment. These are some of my faves off the top of my head.
WHAT AM I MISSING???
