Tim Gunn For Men

I was just reading some of the blogs on Bravo and came across Tim's very first entry for Tim Gunn's Guide To Style. And there was something I've talked about from the very first day.

WHAT ABOUT THE GUYS?

And he answers it! He says that he's working on a men's version of his book. So that's very comforting. Also, he says that many of the 10 essential items work for guys too. Including:

--the classic white shirt
--dress pants
--blazer
--trench coat
--jeans
--cashmere sweater
--sweatsuit alternative
--suit

I'm wondering what a sweatsuit alternative is for a guy. I have everything I think save the trench coat(really? I think guys look like detectives or g-men with these on. they look great on girls though), the blazer(i have one from h.s. wow, tim gunn and company would murder my closet), and the cashmere sweater.

Anyway... exciting. I look forward to the book!

I Am Santa

I just saw Lathum donned the Santa outfit this weekend, so did I! I shot another bit for ESPN. This will open the Sunday Countdown show on (duh) this Sunday at 11 am. So if you want to see me dressed as a gung ho sports fan Santa, check it out on ESPN then.

Still need to knock out a few gifts too. The clock is ticking!

Specs!

Promised a picture. Here is me with glasses!

Jackals

I am making room for my new furniture. So I threw some furniture out yesterday. As I've noticed everytime I've done this whether in New York or Virginia, it's normally gone within minutes.

What made it surprising this time is the chair I threw out is a chair that I always thought of as the cats' chair. It's seriously festooned in cat hair and the chair is a very old lazy boy recliner that's broken. It's a piece of crap. I've had it since college. So that's like 15 years ago.

It was taken also with about an inch of snow on it.

Then one half of my dressers were taken(I still have the other one upstairs). These dressers are meant to bookshelf a bed. So they look weird by themselves. But it was taken even faster. Possibly because it is nicer. But here's the best part.

I went to Soho today looking for a clothes hamper, on my way back I passed by my laundry. And there's always a guy out front selling crap. Guess what he was selling? My dresser! Hah. More power to the dude.

Kidz

Just got back from Carolina visiting my twin and his family including my adorable niece and nephew. My nephew Anderson is a real hulk(this was even what he was for Halloween). He is one and a half. If he doesn't like something, he's liable to throw a punch or a double footed groin buster attack. But most of the time, he's a sweetie! You just have to remember: Do not anger the Hulk if possible!

He also is at that stage where he will say one word at time randomly. In this way, it's like having a little Ed McMahon around. You'll be talking about something like say the character of Alma in Horseland and he'll chime in, "ELMO! ELMO!"

But he also knows the words to certain songs which is pretty impressive. For some reason, I guess it's easier to string together words to a song you know, then a sentence. But I guess songs are more fun so it makes sense.

Caroline aka Linus aka Liney is 4 years old and has quite a lot to say. Some of my favorite terms:

--googly cake: this is her name for jello.
--chocolate robot: she has a couple of voices she'll do(do i smell a child star?) including the hilarious chocolate robot. It's a robot made of chocolate for some reason. Seems impractical.

I also like that you can ask Linus anything and she'll have an opinion about it. For instance, we were watching Wizard of Oz and I was commenting on the absurd number of flying monkeys that the Wicked Witch of the West uses to pick up Dorthy(or as Liney says Dorty). I asked rhetorically, "How many flying monkeys do you need to pick one person up?" Linus waited a moment, thought about it, and answered, "A lot."

Point taken.

Book Worm

I'm reading a book my mom loaned me. It's called "The Island at the Center of the World" by Russell Shorto. It's about New York. But the beginning, well, at the very least, the beginnings of Europeans in New York. Specifically, the Dutch.

It's pretty good. Two things that I thought were interesting so far.

#1 The Dutch had a different understanding about land ownership than the English. And of course, in turn, the Indians had a different understanding about that then the Dutch. The Dutch believed you had to settle in a place, to own it. To claim it. The English believed you simply had to set foot somewhere no one else had been(European) and declare it, and it was yours. And then you have the Indians(Native Americans) who didn't really believe in *owning* land per se. Which, I think we've all heard that before. But didn't know the Dutch idea.

#2 Henry Hudson was abandoned by his crew on an ice floe to die.

You know, I think this sort of thing happens a lot to sea captains* of that day and age. The explorers at least. Because these explorers, they've got have this sort of moxy, this bold arrogance about them. And it's definitely their tragic flaw. Because, without it, they never would get where they are going. But because of it, the crews grow resentful. And wouldn't you? When you've no idea how far away from home you are, no idea if you're going to see land again, no idea if you're going to even get food again, or die out on the open sea. And your jerk captain keeps saying, ONWARD! We must find the Northwest Passage!

So that's what happened to Henry Hudson. The lowered him down to the ice and left him there with all the sick crew as well(which included his very young son). So he got to sit there and watch his son die too. So he had that going for him too.

Anyway... I think there's a sketch in there. Maybe a song too. What happens in those last few hours while you're waiting to die. And you're surrounded by a bunch of people to judge you.

* I think this at least happened to Magellan as well as Cooke. I'll have to research to see what others where marooned by their crew.

Expert Tracking

Since I sent out all the niece/nephew loot, I've been tracking it. Here's a snapshot of one of the packages that just got delivered:



What I love is the detail there. So you know, if I for some reason didn't get the package, I can easily track down the person who signed for it: MALE ADULT.

Was UPS always this lazy?

TWIB Notes

FOUR EYES
Glasses. I done got new glasses. A pic for this to come too. Also, if you happen to spy my For Eyes commercial please let me know! Or if you see it on the interwebs please forward. I really want to see it. If I haven't told you about this before, it involves a dude trying on glasses and when he does, laser beams shoot out of his eyes and go around the store destroying things. The very last thing the laser hits is my butt. Which causes a small explosion and smoke. I had to wear a special pair of explosive pants for this(which had wires going up and down the whole thing which set off the little squibs(explosives).

This is a little scary as you'd imagine. Especially when the pyrotechnics guy says to you: "This is going to feel like a little warm(referring to my crotch). If it feels a lot warm, let me know." I could make some sort of joke about my crotch always feeling a little warm because of my unit. But I won't. I will just let you fill in the joke for yourself thus saving us both the trouble.

Anyway, there was also a nurse on set that made sure everything was alright with my pants and me after each take. We shot it a bunch of different ways as far as ouch that hurts fanning the flame shenanigans to indifferent New Yorker attitude to laser in pants encounter.

The best part is the contract which I have suitable for framing. The line for my part says, "Customer/Butt".

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SILVER BELLS
It's December 3rd and remarkably, I'm prolly 85-90% done with my Christmas shopping. Pretty exciting! I basically knocked out all of my nieces and nephews. Because I discovered something sad this year.

I am going to be the only sibling home for Christmas. Everyone else in the ol' Shelk fam is done married. So they are spending Christmas with the other side of the family. It makes for some lonesome times. Because normally they'll alternate with Thanksgiving. So you get a good Christmas or a good Thanksgiving but never both. Oh complexities of modern life!

But it's much lonelier when it's Christmas. And I thought, well if I'm buying all these gifties for these kids but they aren't going to be here, what's the point of bringing them home? I should just send them.

Which means, wow, the Christmas tree is going to be pretty bare this year.

I still need to get something for the girlie and some other people, but the bulk of it is done. So there's that.
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BACK IN THE SADDLE
The Cowboys are 11-1. Pretty sweet! This means with a little bit of luck, they will prolly get home field advantage in the playoffs. Which is good news for a possible Super Bowl run. Of course, this still means they'd likely face the Patriots. But we'll conquer that when we come to it. I'm just happy the Cowboys are finally relevant again. This might seem whinerish a bit like a Yankees fan complaining, but we Cowboys have gone through lean times before. We just have also had fantastic highs too(the 70's, the early 90's)but between those periods. It's been a funk. I think that after the 90's superbowls it was a bit like the fall of Rome. Everybody got so happy with themselves that the team because ridiculously self-confident and begain to fall apart. My big brother used to call that team the Crack Wagon.

But now, we've emerged with a young plucky Tony Romo to lead us to the promised land and watching Cowboys games are fun again.
Sidenote: How bad do you feel for Joe Gibbs? He makes the big blunder call in the emotional game after Sean Taylor's murder. Yeesh. Poor Joe.
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BEDROOM OF A DIFFERENT COLOR
I've been on a home improvement kick lately. The first task has been the bedroom. It's got all new furniture, plus a brand new paint job, and some other new stuff too. Next will be the main room. I'm gonna post a whole little photo tour of everything in a bit.
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TIME OFF
Going to Charlotte this week. So I'll be sure to take lots of pics of Linus and Anderson. And when I go home from Christmas I think I should be able to get some of Dylan and Kayla. Just not on Christmas proper. Then I will take some of me and my parents being lonely at the siblings who've abandoned us. Sniff. Sniff.

But I'm excited for this month because I have a lot of vacation time that I have to use or lose it. So I have two four day weekends and then the whole 22-New Year's off.