Hell's Kitchen TWIB Notes

I don't know if Ramses made the best cooking related decision last night, but he made the right ENTERTAINMENT decision. Of course, we want to watch the hotty nanny and Rock square off. No way do we want to see Jen still around.

Is it just me or does Jen really cry at the drop of the hat? And here's an awful statement, doesn't she look really gross when she's crying too? But some people look good when they're crying and some people don't. And Jen doesn't.

So Bonnie remains and so does Rock. Did you notice too how Rock cleaned up his act BIG TIME last night? So who is the real Rock? Is he the respectful dude who showed up last night or is he the guy who proclaimed he doesn't work with b*tches?

And Bonnie looked remarkably adept in the kitchen. Was that a fluke? Or did she finally get it? I think she prolly does get it, but when it was all of the rest in the kitchen it made her nervous. People breathing down your neck and such.

It's been said before, but worth noting again---why do people always lose it when their parents come? They are only away from them for like three weeks? And they always go to pieces when they show up. These people are adults. It's weird!

Other notes:

--Rock doesn't seem too comfortable "at the pass". Not everyone can be Ramses when they are controlling things. But he looked awkward.

--Bonnie shows that you don't have to be Ramses either at the pass. She calmly went over to Jen and explained what was wrong with the risotto. So she didn't seem like she was trying to be someone she wasn't, didn't anger Jen, and got the result she wanted. Call me crazy, but that's some good leadership skills. This is going to come in handy when they call everyone back from before to work the kitchen for them in the final service!

--Back to pastries for Jen. At least she got that grand worth of cooking loot! Classic example of winning the battle, but losing the war here.

--Bonnie will win the whole design your restaurant thing, I predict Rock picks something stark and a little impersonal for his design. Then again, I wonder what his Southern Creole restaurant looks like?

All in all, I'm rooting for Bonnie. But can a personal chef really run a whole restaurant? Dunno. So this is a revisiting of last year--great palette, artistic hottie chick vs. the more accomplished chef. However, Heather from last year rarely seemed fazed in the kitchen whereas Rock has huge rage issues. I say Rock goes all Hulk in the last eppy and Bonnie wins narrowly as a result. But maybe Ramses will like it when Rock goes hulkazoid?

ONN: In The Know--Is Our Wealth Hurting Africa's Feelings?

Latest In The Know from the Onion!


In The Know: Is Our Wealth Hurting Africaâ??s Feelings?

Show Time

Next week, I've a bevy of shows to do which is exciting. If you're jonesin' for some "Heaven Help Me" Nate Shelkey(that was Matt Pack's nickname for me when considering nicknames for the infamous UCB Fight Night), you can find me these places....

MONDAY
Sunny-Side Up, UCB, 9:30 pm
This is some themed improv. The theme is an elementary school kid's assembly which explores and helps kids conquer their fears.

THURSDAY
Cagematch, UCB 11 pm
My new team Slideburgers takes on C & C & C Music Factory. We perform the Living Room. What is it? Come and find out! [Slideburgers is Birch Harms, Will Hines, Rebekka Johnson, Ellie Kemper, Porter Mason, Jim Santangeli, Nate Shelkey, Rob Webber, and Beth White.]

FRIDAY
Huck Slim performs at 169 Bar, 8 pm
Been a couple of months since the last gig. New demo almost finished. Come and check us out!

SATURDAY
Get Psyched! UCB 7:30 pm
Watch me get completely psyched by that famous Life Coach, Dr. Lanny Latham!

Smothered & Covered

It was going to happen. You knew it. I knew it. We all knew it. It was just a question of when. Well, last night was when. Julia, the Waffle House cook, was finally sent home.

But my beloved Ramses said he was going to send her to culinary school and then invite her back to Hell's Kitchen. Pretty cool! (Be honest, girls. You swooned! You wish he were sending YOU to culinary school.) I think he was right--she had all the skills, just lacked the know-how. When she comes back, she'll totes know what creme brulee is!

Also, Josh got booted during the middle of service! How exciting was that? I was thinking about Josh this morning when I had an omelette at the cafeteria. The dude was working 4 omelettes at once. And they all came out perfect! Maybe risotto is more difficult than an omelette. But I don't think that spaghetti is.

In other news, Rock continues to fall into a whole bunch of crazy. He then proceeded to call the other girls b*tches. Classy. Doesn't he know that the girls can call each other that, and Ramses can do it. But he cannot. He looks like a giant ass when he does that!

So Bonnie was proven to be the queen of the service. And she chose Rock and Julia and Jules took the fall. Rock was lucky. Could have easily been him. He's going to have to be really good next week. Or else he's out!

What do we think? Can the nanny prevail? I don't know. She's a lot like Virginia. Pretty. Creative. Excellent palette. But a little mousy and a little shakey in service. Mostly just not a machine like Julia was. But she can be good. So we'll see. I am rooting for her just like I was Virginia.

I want to see Rock talk about himself in third person when he gets booted. He's next!

Proof Tiger Woods IS A Robot!

This is a picture from the British Open. Look closely at Tiger Woods' hat. But don't think about it too much. What is the first thing that comes to mind? Got nothing? Ok. Try this. Look at the other picture...

Ok, now what do you think? EXACTLY! Tiger Woods is clearly a decepticon!!! He'll try and tell you along with his army of PR machinery that on his hat is a logo which bears his initials of T.W. but come on. That's just a silky subterfuge that will fool a 5 year old but not the rest of us.

I would post some more thoughts on this but I have to go get Bumblebee to give me a ride so we can tell Optimus. The fate of the world rests in my hands. Plus I want to get something for breakfast. Maybe one of those cheese bagels from Au Bon Pain? But do I get Asiago or Jalapeno Double Cheddar? Hmmm.... decisions... oh wait! Tiger Woods. Must warn Optimus.

Ark Needed

This is the weather forecast for the next week:



It doesn't look good.

TWIB Notes

--Finally, they kicked off Melissa on Hell's Kitchen! I hated the sound of her voice. Long Island accents are particularly piercing. Is Rock going crazy? I think he's going to have a meltdown at some point. Don't the guys really have to step it up at this point? For those of you who aren't paying attention, it's now the girls(the nanny, the Waffle House cook, and the pastry chef) vs. the guys(sous chef, sous chef, executive chef). They SHOULD win if it was based on their experience. But that's why they play the games err... have the episodes.

--This is a song my brother wrote and we recorded it on our birthday. The fun thing is that I got a phone call while we were recording so you can hear me in the not so faint background. I like to imagine it has the same poignance that Simon & Garfunkel's "Silent Night" cover has with the evening news on in the background. Only, less artful. That was not an Art Garfunkel joke, but if you wished it was, you can just act like it was.



--I just went to an audition today in a waiting room filled with various people from different time periods. The best was a dude dressed up like a viking complete with like leather armor and a sword and one of those horn hats. Who has those things? I was chatting with Dave Hill who was there too about how many calls this guy must get. Are Vikings in constant need? Let's hope so. Or else this call spent too much dough on a horn hat.

--I'm in Rob Lathan's awesome life coach show(Get Psyched!) again this Saturday at UCB if you're around. It's @ 7:30 and we're after Eliza Skinner's show too. I'm excited to finally see that one.

--At least once a day, for the past 2 weeks someone has come up to me at work asking about the Manny. It's amusing. If only for the fact that no one normally comes up to me at work for stuff I do outside of work(maybe the ESPN stuff, and commercials). But at least not with this frequency. Today, a guy came up that I haven't worked with for like oh five years? He came up to me in the burger line and said, "I gotta hug this guy cause he can sing!"

That's all for now.

The Shack of Shake

We went to the Shake Shack yesterday to do some research. You see, we're students in the field of the science of Yum. It's a demanding field. Lots of competition. Long hours. You don't get into this for the money. It's the pure satisfaction you get though for entering Flavor Town(if you've never been to Flavor Town, I don't know what to say to you---how have you been living your life?).

The Shake Shack is famous not just for its titular shakes, but also famous for its really long lines(there is even a cool t-shirt they sell which says I (picture of Shake Shack) NY. And a huge line next to the picture of the Shake Shack. Pretty funny and cute.) They even have a nifty little web cam so you can see how the line is doing. Kathrine pointed out that this is of little use though unless you work or live near by the Shack, as the line will probably have changed by your journey's end.

Still, it's neat!

Get to the site of said Shack (by the way, it's totally not a Shack. I mean, it's the size you'd think of a shack, but it's made out of metal, and shacks have to be wood, right?)(what is it that marketers think is appealing about a Shack by the by? Why do we think buying electronics out of one is something we'd be interested in?(Radio Shack) and now there's shack-made shakes. But they ARE interesting, aren't they?)and the line is as advertised. LONG!

We decide to guess how long it will be. I guessed 30 mins. Kathrine guessed an hour. Who do you think was right? An hour and five minutes later, we reach the counter of the venerable shack.

They post a few menus along the way, so we had decided on the Shack Stack which is all three of the burgers(the Shack burger, the cheeseburger, and the 'shroom burger). One might think there were small and three of them, but no they are piled all together. It's a little daunting. We pushed on. When you're picking up speed towards Flavor Town, you don't get concerned over such trifles. I also got a black & white shake(I'm all about racial and flavor equality) too and we split some cheese fries(real cheese, not just whiz!)(again, American naming conventions are strange---why do we want to "whizz" on our fries?).

We hit a food coma afterwards. But it was worth it. Next time though, i would go in the late afternoon and thus avoid both the lunch time rush and the dinner crowd.

Also of note? The Poochini, a custard and dog biscuit treat for four legged friends! I didn't try it so I can't comment on that. But there were a few dogs in line, I didn't poll them but I am betting they were going to sample the poochini.