Hell's Kitchen vs. Top Chef: Head-to-Head

Last night, I decided that I would check out this Top Chef business. So let's take a look at HK vs. TC.

Premise

HK-A handful of chef hopefuls compete to win the executive chef position at a new restaurant in Las Vegas.

TC-A handful of chef hopefuls compete to win seed money to open their own restaurant.

Advantage: Push. The only difference is that the Top Chef peeps get full autonomy over what they are doing.

Host

HK-No real host. Action is moved along via cuts and voice over.

TC-Indian model chick. Watching last night I had no idea who she was. She is so striking that it's almost distracting. No, strike that. It IS distracting. After some wiki research, come to find out that she is related to food. She is a cookbook author. Also of note, married Salman Rushdie.

Advantage: Hell's Kitchen. The Indian model chick makes me think I'm watching Project Runway. It's better to concentrate on the contest itself.

Contestants

HK-Whole range of contestants here. From a Waffle House line cook, to a retirement home cook, to an executive chef. They've got it all! Last year they had a prison cook. This year a nanny. Which is neat. But clearly, some of these people are better then others... as opposed to...

TC-All the people who are really good cooks. Well, with the exception of that hick country guy from the first episode. Still, the rest? They all know what they are doing. If you put the TC crew on Hell's Kitchen, they would all be able to consistently pan sear scallops, rest their wellingtons, cook a rissotto, turbot, etc. I've pretty much described most of the HK menu. That seems to not change at all from season to season. Why don't people just sit there and practice that sh*t? Anyway... so you have great cooks. Do you lose some drama factor?

Advantage: Top Chef. Actually, you don't lose drama. The drama in HK is built in because you just KNOW that someone is going to rip into the Waffle Cook chick. But in TC, you're not sure who's going to get testy. In HK's this season, for example, you still haven't seen someone really shine. That kind of hurts the balance of the show. It also makes you wonder who is going to win and if they do, would you really ever go to their restaurant?

Judges

HK: Well, it's just the one guy. But what a guy! Gordon Ramsay is a certified *sshole! And he has an outrageous temper. So the whole show you're waiting for him to call someone a cow or donkey. You know he's going to stop service. It's just a question of when.

TC: You've got the hottie chick from Food & Wine mag, the big chef dude, and then a rotating third judge, as well as comments from the host chick. Watching the show, I always didn't respect the host chick's opinion. Even knowing she wrote a cookbook, I still don't. I don't know what it is. Again, I think it's the whole model thing. That's shallow, right? But there it is. Anyway, the others are really good. But there's no danger.

Advantage: Hell's Kitchen. You're getting mostly sober critiques from the TC group. Whereas Gordon Ramsay is going to cut these people down to size. It reminds me of our acting teacher in college. He was harsh. So harsh that people were afraid to take his class. Same way with improv. There's one of them that just gives some really poignant notes. And many people purposefully avoided those classes. But I loved them. Because you knew if you were doing crap, you were going to hear it. And if you did well, then you were doing very well if they said something.

Challenges

HK-They do pretty much dinner service for quite some time. During the day, they have some smaller challenges like the palette test and prepare your own meal and things like that. But by and large, it's getting through service. And it never really changes that much. Just who they are serving and who judges them sometimes changes.

TC-This is one of the best parts of this show. It combines the best parts of something like Project Runway and Iron Chef. You get to see these people's creativity because they really have to come up with some things on the spot. With not a lot of time to do it. I will say this though, the TC dudes don't have pressure like the HK kids do. But, if they were put under that, I think they prolly would shine.

Advantage: Top Chef. The challenges are all different. The infusion of the new judge every week helps as well. You see a lot of different kinds of food too. As opposed to the repetoire on HK.

So the end tally? That's 2-2. It's all tied up. I'm going to have to watch more Top Chef to see which I like better. I think they are prolly different strokes for different folks. The real foodie would enjoy TC, whereas the reality junkies will love HK. Me? In a dearth of tv, these summer shows are great!

The Wiener Jordan

Dear Reader,

You might not be aware that the famed Mustard Belt might be brought back to American shores next week. (The Mustard Belt? That's the prize if you win the Coney Island hot dog eating contest at Nathan's on the 4th of July.) But it might be done by less then ideal circumstances. This is disturbing. First, Joey Chestnut recently won a qualifying event in Atlanta and shattered Kobayashi's record of 53 (and 3/4)dogs, by eating 59 (and 1/2) dogs. Insane, right? But here's the rub. Recently, Kobayashi has a jaw injury and is suffering from jaw arthritis. He's planning to come anyway, but still. Don't you want a fair fight? But maybe this will make Kobayashi rise to previously unheard of levels even while hurting, like Jordan playing with a fever! I am rooting for Joey mind you. But still, you have to feel for the guy.

ONN: In The Know--Kim Jong Il's Approval Rating Plummets to 120%

Newest In The Know is here....


In The Know: Kim Jong-Il's Approval Rating Plummets to 120%

Kids Say The Darndest Things

You've seen this pregnant mom disappearance story I'm sure, right? Did you see what the kid said? The 2 year old child told the police, "Mommy's crying... Mommy's in the rug". I read that, and I thought I was going to see some horrible resolve to the story where the little kid had chopped up his mom and ground her into the rug or something. Maybe I think too much like horror movies. Anyway, I hope she's ok.

You've Wanted To See Me In A Sexy Wifebeater

Your wish has come true...



(See other UCB-ers Eugene Cordero(who plays the Oates to my Hall), and Will "57" Hines too!)

Controversy!

Perhaps you've seen the little feud shaping up between Dan Rather and Katie Couric? He said this in an MSNBC interview "The mistake was to try to bring the 'Today' show ethos to the 'Evening News' and to dumb it down - tart it up in hopes of attracting a younger audience."

People are up in arms about the tart business there. But it's not something that hasn't been said before. I don't think it was that egregious at all. I think he's right. It's precisely what has been happening with CBS News and anyone who doesn't think so hasn't really watched it lately! It's ridiculous.
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Some TWIB Notes:

--If you are watching tv and see this Stop & Shop commercial where a bag of cat food and dog food are talking to each other? And the cat food is hitting on the dog food? That cat food is voiced by me. Now, I just eagerly await my exploding pants commercial(I am not making this up).

--Cavs/Spurs: Most boring NBA Finals of all time? Prolly. Somehow it isn't as exciting seeing Bron Bron in his first finals as I thought it could be. But the problem is he has nobody to play with. And he just lacks the killer selfish instinct to be a one horse johnny.

--Hell's Kitchen is on again! (It's pretty good. I'm not sweet on anyone has much as I was for Virginia, but still good.) I am so happy for something to cut through the summer glut. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to them. So far, I am watching Creature Comforts and Hell's Kitchen, and come next week, The Flight of the Conchords.

--Speaking of, we saw them last night. They were great! I think, dare I say this, even better than Tenacious D!

--Dyna was asking me if Brent and I are going to wear matching shirts again this year. Brent's wife Meredith does this cute thing where she buys us matching shirts every year and makes us wear them. Don't know if that will happen this year or not. But my favorite still was the Hawaiian shirts from our 30th. I should compile a photo collage of our matching shirts. Note to self.

--Huck Slim goes into the studio again this weekend. So hopefully after this w/e 6 new tracks will be ready for a demo. Exciting! Look for it soon.

--I think Toys 'R Us is running some sort of scam. Or maybe the cost of moving sand really is expensive. I wanted to get a sandbox for my nephew this week but the shipping on sandbox is $200! Yeesh. So I guess we're going to wait until I see him in person to go get it. It's just as well, this means I get to play in the sandbox too now.

Something We All Can Agree On

Now, you should know I'm not a big fan of our President. AT ALL. But my sister sent me something this week that indicated that not everything in the White House is evil. Exhibit A: Barney the Dog.

Cute right? I think we can all agree on that. And I'm happy that there is such a mirthful little fun section of the White House website.

Also, something that my sister Lou noticed upon closer inspection... the caption writer is different over the years. (Yes, my sister looked over years of Barney the dog photos. She's a hard worker! When W started office, Barney had a photo a day. But then that got too taxing so now it's a photo a week.)

Okay, notice the difference in captions.



"Barney sits among the tulips in the East Garden of the White House, April 2, 2007."



"This time not happy with yesterday's caption, Barney commandeers the web site and puts up his own caption.....

"Barney Nose Best" HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

From

Barney "

You can even start with a cute pic.



And all you get is this:

"Barney sits among the tulips in the East Garden of the White House, April 2, 2007. "

Compared to this:



"Dear Willie the Cat
Although I'm supposedly at the ranch in Crawford, I snuck out this morning and called NASA Administrator Sean O'Keefe. He owed me a favor. Saturn is cool.

Barney"

Anyway, you make the call. Examine it all here.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/barney/#

Still, don't you wonder what happened to the old captioner? Where is he/she? What are they doing now? I miss them! My next step will be comparing political pets both over the years and of the current political candidates.