A Song For Coney

New Song Fun!

This is a song I wrote about Coney Island thinking about how it's going to be so different next year after the end of the summer. Enjoy! Or cruelly, silently, refuse to listen. Do that if you must, enemies of fun. You others... here are the lyrics and the song:

A Coney Island Elegy

A Coney Island Elegy

We made plans to meet on Sunday afternoon
It was halfway between us
It seemed like a reason
A great way to cap off the season

So I must have Rip Van Winkled cuz I woke up late
But I ran to the train, maybe she still be there anyway
I took the F all the way to the sea
Instead of her eyes of blue, all I saw was green

But Coney Island washed away
And somewhere my baby’s in the bay
Returning back to whence it came
I guess it’s going to be that kind of day

You see the coaster, it’s peeking out
There’s the killer curve, where girls would always shout
They’d grab your hand, or squeeze your knee
But those are underwater memories

See there’s Nathan’s hot dog stand, my those buns are getting wet
But there’s no eating contest now, just the fish are getting fed
We said we start there, she said I’m a cheap date
But I guess the start was how we’d end things today

Because Coney Island washed away
And somewhere my baby’s in the bay
Returning back to whence it came
I guess it’s going to be that kind of day

A radio, it’s that song by the Drifters
I’m under the boardwalk, and man how I miss her
The Wonder Wheel paddles by, and I’m wondering why
Why did I sleep in so long, and I started to cry

Who should I see but Woody Guthrie, clinging to a tree
He called out, “Are you looking for your baby?”
Woody said lemmee help you out, ya see I wrote this song
Because I’ve been marooned here all along

Because Coney Island washed away
And somewhere my baby’s in the bay
Returning back to whence it came
I guess it’s going to be that kind of day

Onion: The U.S. Moat

I'm in another ONN(Onion News Network) segment today. Today's In The Know concerns plans for The U.S. Moat...

In The Know: The U.S. Moat

Loser Movies Is Back!

It took long enough, but I finally saw The Lake House today. I'm doing my taxes and saw it on-demand on HBO so I fired it up. Actually, I started to watch it last night but I fell asleep watching it. But finished it this morning.

So here's the report!

As you might know, it concerns this titular Lake House. It's one of these fancy artsy glass houses on a lake, actually up on stilts too. And Sandra Bullock used to live there, but now Keanu Reeves lives there. She leaves him a note with instructions for forwarding mail. Only here's the kicker kids, two of the instructions don't make sense. First, it says, "Forgive the paw prints in the front" but there are no paw prints! Whoa. And it also says that it's 2006 when in fact, it is 2004. Yowza. What's a guy to do?

Well, he writes her back and tells her that's just dead wrong. But then as it happens, a dog runs through some paint while he's working on the little walkway in front and gets PAW PRINTS there. Did you just get chills? Because I did.

So he writes her back and they gradually realize wait a second, we actually do live two years apart from each other. This is told through an excruciating montage of letters and voice over and them reading aloud their letters as well. They try to figure out ways to intersect their lives outside of the magical mailbox.

They have some chance encounters where they meet but the other doesn't realize that it's the mailbox guy or gal at the time. This is where the plot starts to not make a lot of sense. Even if you buy the whole mailbox dealie bobber. There's just a lot of time travel paradoxes that are hard to follow.

Ok, first off---she complains about no trees or missing trees so Keanu plants a tree at the housing development where she is at. Which then by the time she lives there becomes a big tree. Like in a split second.

So you see, he can effect things in the future, but she can tell him what happened in the past. Now, here's something that I'll give to the writers. They set up some things that happen and you don't really think about it but then later it all starts to come together in a dramatic fashion. I'm once again going to assume you aren't going to watch this movie and thus ruin it for you if you do.

In the beginning of the movie, Sandra sees some guy get run over by a bus. She's a doctor so she tries to go save him. But he's dead. Later on, they are supposed to meet for dinner someplace but he doesn't show up. The reason? Because it's the SAME DAY FOLKS! Did you just get chills? Because I did. So seriously though, that's pretty slick. Because he's the guy that got hit by the bus. Double yowza. And the whole time before she realizes this, she gets pissed at him and breaks it off(through the mailbox) with Keanu. Talk about unfair fighting folks. Aren't you not allowed to bring up things in the past? Plus, she's getting mad at him because he didn't show up. But there's a pretty good excuse, he's dead! Geez Louise. Girls are such ball busters.

But I don't understand when it's all said and done why this mailbox is magical. I mean, I suppose maybe the mailbox knew they were supposed to be together? And until that was cemented the mailbox was unhappy. Also, you've probably realized this movie should not be called the Lake House. It should be called the Mailbox. And you know what? It wasn't half-bad. It wasn't great. But it was better than expected. So I give the Lake House(aka The Mailbox) a C+. I feel like there was a missed plotpoint where maybe Sandra's guy(she has a boyfriend of course that makes it harder for Keanu to get with her at first) runs over the mailbox or hits it with a baseball bat. Just a suggestion directors from the future if you are remaking the movie and reading this blog. Through the magical internet that lets us send messages back and forth two years apart.

Kill Your Darlings art

Check out this snazzy new poster for Kill Your Darlings... me likey!

88 Keys On Sunday

Dear Reader,

I will be playing at Piano's(upstairs) on Easter Sunday @ 7 pm. It is free. You should come if you are around. It won't be Huck Slim, it will be a Nate Shelkey solo show. So just me and my guitar, and YOU!

158 Ludlow St
(between Stanton and Rivington St)
New York, NY

Take the F/V to 2nd Ave. Get out at 1st Ave side and walk along Houston to the east. Take a right going south on Ludlow. It's a block down on the corner.

-Nate

The Malakar Cocktail

I've been watching Idol. And are people abreast about what's going on here? This kid, Sanjaya Malakar, has been surviving on the show when clearly he's the worst of the top 10. And why? Some people say it's because Howard Stern has been mounting a campaign to vote Sanjya to be the winner. And furthermore, there's speculation that this will ruin the show and eventually cause it's cancellation.

But I don't see how this is possible. First, some numbers. There are six million Sirius subscribers right now. There are routinely 20 million that vote for American Idol. Even if all six million subscribers 1) listen to Howard Stern and 2) watch American Idol, and 3) vote for American Idol, and 4) vote for Sanjaya, there's still another 14 million votes to be tallied.

So will he win? Will American Idol be cancelled? Doubtful. It's the most popular show on television by leaps and bounds. TV networks are not normally known for being graceful about retiring a show. Instead, they run those horses into the ground.

Also, what does it prove if Sanjaya does win? My co-worker says it will prove that Idol is b.s. and the best singer won't have won and it will prove it's a big crock. But they never said that the best singer would win. They said it would be who American wants to be American Idol.

I told her it's like the Presidential election. Does the best person always win? No way. It's just based on votes. (And stealing elections.) And you can't make people vote for the best person. People are going to vote how they are going to vote. Just like when they vote for the President, they might vote for someone who is charming instead of smart, someone who's good looking, instead of qualified.

And that's why people might vote for Sanjaya. Just for the hell of it.

(In case you're wondering, I'm rooting for Jordin Sparks. Come on, that name just sounds like a star. Plus, the girl can SANG. And she's super cute too.)
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In other news, the Nats won a game! This is surprising because I think the Nats are going to lose over a hundred games. It's going to be a rough season. Hopefully though, in 2008, when the new stadium opens--all will be worth it.

The Nats also have something new this year. They have a race akin to the famous sausage race in Milwaukee. Only instead of sausages, it's Presidents! I like this. Plus, apparently Teddy Roosevelt watched the game from the top of the stadium.