A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

Last week, I did a scene with David Martin where we were fireman who compared gross things that had happened with us and updated each other on the progress of those things. They were health related. One of them was Dave having worms in his feces.

Last night, someone told me a story about a girl who actually had that happen. Can I just say, Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww? I asked if she could feel the worms wriggling around. Mercifully, no, she did not. But still, that's fascinating.

I related to her a story my friend had told me of a worm that lives in water in lakes and rivers in Africa. And it's why you should never go swimming in Africa. Because this worm comes in through your foot, and lays eggs there and then the little larvae crawl up your leg and then eat their way out of your thighs. Yum, right?

Please feel free to share any creepy crawlie stories you have here.
-------------------

In other news, this week I walked outside of my apt building and saw a bunch of flowers and one of those Jesus candles lit with something taped to it. It read, "For Edward G____". That's the name of my landlord. I immediately thought, oh that's sad. He's not very old.

Then my New York brain started turning and I thought, hmmm... I wonder what happens now to our apartment building. I hope they don't sell it. Because I'm classy like that. Later, I googled him to find the obit. And then it turns out it's clearly my landlord's dad who just died. Which is still sad. But not as sad. Because he was old. He was like almost 90.

And then my New York brain started turning again and I wondered who in my apt building actually knew that our landlord's dad died? And cared enough to put out the Jesus candle and flowers? Maybe I'm just cold and heartless but doesn't that seem above and beyond? But then again, people at work often buy their bosses Christmas and birthday gifts and crap like that and I never do. Again, I'm classy like that.

Anyway... R.I.P. Edward G.

D-Day: The Onion(ONN)

Today is the launch day for the Onion News Network which is a new part of the Onion that is essentially like a CNN style 24 hours news network, but in an Onion style world of news. Go to www.theonion.com or tv.theonion.com to check it out. But first, check out this fun clippy with yours truly in it!

Best Moment Of March Madness So Far

The single best moment of March Madness '07 so far was one of the announcers saying, "That's a man jam!" After somebody dunked with authority. Which game was this? Porter? I forget.

The Subway Critic

Yesterday, I was walking down the stairs to the 2nd Ave F stop. I had my guitar strapped to my back and as I was passing a guy, we made eye contact and he said, "I am a much better musican than you."

I wonder how he knew.

My Finest Role

I had some pretty plum roles these past two weeks. I recorded a voice-over where I play the voice of kitty litter hitting on some dog food. And then this week, I filmed a commercial where I wore a pair of exploding pants. The gist of the spot is that a guy puts on glasses, lasers shoot out from them and destroy the store and at one point, hit me in the ass, thus causes a small explosion in my pants and smoke starts emitting from them. It's a bit unsettling when the pyrotechnics guy says, "This is going to feel a little warm. But if it's too warm, let me know immediately." The best part? My role was listed on the contract: Customer/Butt.

Good Times.

Picture Picture

I have been going through all of my old photos to send some to a friend of mine. In the course of this, I have uploaded quite a number of fun photos from my past. I shall be revealing them over the next couple of weeks. Today's first one:

My prom picture.

Note: My date is wearing what my sister called "The Pat Nixon dress". If you somehow found my website, prom date? It's true. It is kind of a Pat Nixon dress, isn't it? The other fun thing about my prom was my date hit it off with my friend's date. They were both younger than us. So they spent the night hitting it off. In retrospect, why didn't I hit it off with my friend? I don't know. I was dumb.

The Ro-Co Report: Music & Lyrics

I convinced my friend Polly to go see it finally! So we went yesterday. What is "it" you innocently and ignorantly ask? Why, "Music & Lyrics" foolios! The five readers of this blog know that(I was about to write 10 but I didn't want to overestimate)I had been eagerly anticpating this movie ever since saw the preview while watching another ro-co, "The Holiday". It came out on Valentine's Day but I didn't get to see it for whatever reason or another until now.

So...

What's it all about? The long and short of it? It was pretty good. It wasn't great. I don't put it up there with like When Harry Met Sally or even as much as say My Best Friend's Wedding, or for that matter Four Weddings & A Funeral, or Muriel's Wedding. Quite a lot of wedding ro-cos, eh? I suppose it follows.

Let's go over the ingredients. They do indeed meet cute. She's the fill-in plant waterer and she comes in and gets pricked by his cactus and then leaves abruptly. The next time she comes in, she absent mindedly finishes the lyric to a song he's composing.

They've the best friend components of course. With Hugh's manager being his, played by the tall guy from Everybody Knows Raymond, and Drew's sister being hers, played by the tall gal from 3rd Rock From The Sun. (She actually steals the show in this movie. She's in love with Grant's character from back in the 80's.)

A word about the age difference between them---seemed almost borderline. Or maybe it's just Hugh looks a little gruff around the edges these days. I just imdbed them to check. Interesting. Mr. Grant is older than I thought. He's 47. And Drew is 32. So 15 years between them. If she were younger than 30, it would be a little oogie. But it still kind of works.

They returned Hugh to his normal stuttering witty yet a little incompetent Brit self as opposed to his recent turns as cad. Which makes sense because he's trying to trade in on his cache as a member of the 80's ficitional pop band, Pop!(that exclamation point is in the name. Not the end of my sentence.) They're basically Duran Duran. Or really Duran Duran meets Wham!(again, not the end of the sentence, but end of band name). The movie opens with a video from Pop! and it's hilarious. They effectively lampoon most elements of the early 80's video.

1) black & white checkers on the background
2) ridiculous side-to-side dancing and snapping
3) having one person inside a tv talking to the other bandmate, a sort of Max Headroom effect
4) lame plot scenario that the bandmates act out

All they needed to do was add the Aha effect where they look it's a drawing and they're all set.

Anyway... so they meet, she becomes his lyricist to write a song for this Britney Spears type. And they get overwhelmed at one point and sleep together. Then he says something out of turn at one point about how he wishes that love would be more like a business relationship, you state what you want and then you either take it or leave it. Which she then scathingly includes in the lyrics of the song they are working on.

Suffice it to say, he does something to get her back and yes it's a song. And no he never wrote lyrics before, and yes they're actually not bad. (By the way, they both sing pretty well, or well enough. They sound cute singing together which is the most important thing.) The movie ends with the video from the beginning but in pop-up video fashion with the epilogue. Nice touch.

I don't think I can give this movie a higher grade even though it was fine. But I've really almost explained the whole movie to you. That's it. In most great ro-cos there's a lot more than just one misstep. I don't know. Maybe that's the reason it was only 96 minutes long. Felt like it was missing some beats to it. (Nice musical pun there Shelks!)(I try.)

Music & Lyrics: Solid B

This American Life(Live!)

We went to see This American Life Live at Lincoln Center on Monday. Sooo good. They showed clips of the upcoming tv show. And IE was in one and got a huge reaction from the crowd. Also, Mates of State was the musical guest and they were great. I did not realize that they were just two people and a husband and wife team. But those two facts are true people. That's big sound from two people. And I hate to say it, but both sides are up to the task as opposed to Meg White who let's face it--she's just along for the ride.

Here's some vids from the upcoming show!(check out IE snippet 12 seconds in)



This one below is fascinating... it's about this kid named Joe who doesn't believe in love. So much so he doesn't tell his parents he loves them. He also talks about a dream he had where he did fall in love with a girl but their relationship is based mostly on fighting monsters.

Bonus Nextel Talkie Version

Birch found this yesterday. It's a new version of the Nextel commercial where I am talking! Yay to added bonus creepiness. Enjoy! Thanks Birch!