I Want This

This is a pirate tree house that Costco sells. It's only $18,499.99 Someone please buy me this.

In other news, Jake is going to be in the next Mohels. He's so excited! Look for it next Monday!

Burger Pie

This post sounds dirty. It's not. About three years ago, Ben Rodgers and I conceived an idea so brash, so brilliant, the world wasn't ready for it. In addition, we lacked the funds to bring this idea to fruition. And like Leonardo's helicopter, and the first computer, and time travel, it remained just an insanely genius idea. Until last year, when we discovered a restaurant was serving our idea. (Great minds think alike.)

The idea? Pizza tastes good. It's a pleasing shape. And it's fun to eat things in slices. The burger tastes good. It's a pleasing shape, wouldn't it be fun to eat in a slice? So picture a giant burger. Pizza size. Picture it sliced into eight. Now, open your eyes... here's that picture:




The Burger Pie can be had at Slate which is on 21st St between 5th and 6th Ave and Chelsea. Also, they have pool and get this PING PONG! Burger Pie and Ping Pong? Can we say, Perfect Day? Rodgers and I agreed it was pretty much what we had envisioned. Good choice of bun, nice cut of giant burger. The only thing I would have changed was the pickle. It was gherkin, i.e. sweet. I would go half-sours cut into slices so they might resemble pepperoni. Still, A for presentation. Also, Slate was pretty cool by letting us order the burger pie for lunch when it's really only for dinner.

The world feels a whole lot smarter today. Like after the atom was split, we've entered a new age. The Age Of Burger Pie!

Weenie Of The Week

This one's easy.

In a 10 and Under Little League game in Utah, the Yankees were playing the Red Sox. The Red Sox were down at the end of the game, but had the tying run at third base with two outs. Romney Oaks was at bat. "Oaks is a frail boy whose growth was stunted by a malignant cranial tumor at the age of 4. How frail? Not knowing what his prospects for recovery were, the Make-A-Wish Foundation arranged for Romney and his family to visit the President of the United States last year." He's better now, but he has to wear a batting helmet when he plays the field. And here's the kicker. Romney Oaks wasn't really at bat. Yet. "After he conferred with assistant Shaun Farr, Yankees coach Bob Farley elected to intentionally walk Jordan Bleak -- the Red Sox's best hitter, who already had thumped a home run and a triple -- to get to Romney."

What a total jerk! It's a freaking Little League game. How out of control do you have to be to intentionally walk in a Little League game? And to get to the team's weakest player? That's just utterly rude. Congrats Bob Farley, your Yankees won the game and you win the Weenie of the Week by a mile. (Isn't it perfect that this was done by a Little League Yankees team? (playing the Red Sox)

(Quotes from article by Greg Garber. Check out the full story from ESPN)

Virginia, You Were Robbed

This is Virginia. She was one of the two finalists on the Fox TV show, "Hell's Kitchen". Let's face it, I have a bit of a crush on her. She won I think all but one of the challenges. But she was pretty awful at the service side. Regardless, she made it to the final two. And lost to Heather by a very small margin. Yikes. Oh well, such is life. We also found out in the final episode that she's married. and we saw her husband. He's kind of uggs. So basically Virginia got double shafted. Now it's back to being a salad chef for you!

Non-American Graffitti

This is brills... It's painted on the security barrier between the occupied territories and Israel. It's done by Banksy, a Brit street artist. According to Gothamist, he's been doing some in Williamsburg recently too. I can't wait to see one of these in person. It makes the altered Walk/Don't Walk Signs pale in comparison... (Although there is one of the block next to me with the hang loose symbol, I'll post a pic later.)

Equal Opportunity Shame

Last night, while watching The Great Educator aka television, I was able to realize something. Men and women are pretty different. (This isn't what I realized, I'll get to that, I'm working my way up to that.) There's a lot of things about us that you just can't compare. For instance, you can say that certain sexual acts that focus on one sex are equal to certain similar acts that are on the other. But they really aren't. They're quite different. Not that I've experienced all of them, but just my common sense says they're quite different. Pushing something in negative space and accepting something into negative space seem like two different things to me. And what about boobs? What is the guy equivalent of breasts? I don't really think there is one. Because generally most guys like to look at boobs. But I don't think all women like to look at penises. This is my belief. But last night I realized there was such an equalizer and that's in commercials.

As a male, we are forced to watch quite a lot of thinning hair commercials. Like A LOT. It could be anything from straight toupees to the hair club for men to propecia. There's a ton. And it's embarrassing. And girls don't have to go through such an indignity with their hair(well, a very few do). But they do have their own curse. And that's their moon cycle.

And last night it hit me---this is their shame. It's the endless parade of commercials for feminine products. And just like the baldie commericals for guys, the tampons et al commercials are also embarrassing. The worst part is when they demonstrate with some blue liquid how absorbant these maxipads or tampons or what. And how gross that is. That blue liquid is of course meant to represent their mensies!

I think very few people guys or girls watch either of these style of commericals and then go to the store and open their wallets because of them. Girls don't go and think, "you know what? i want the ones with wings! they seem more absorbant AND fun!" and guys aren't going to generally think, "you know what? i WILL ask my doctor about that."

In closing, I think it all works out. We're both suitably shamed and feel awful about ourselves. However, I would also like to point out the frightening ends of all the Cialis/Viagra ads which say consult a doctor if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours. Which is tantamount to saying that erections of 2 hours and 3 hours are completely normal. This is scary.

Macgyver Terrorists

Apparently, there was some terrorists who were thwarted in the UK who
planned to mix some Gatorade with some sort of gel and then detonate it
via an MP3 player. How insane is that? Mostly, I just marvel at how
they are able to do that. That's 100% pure Macgyver. But like Evil
Macgyver. If you saw this too, would you even believe it? As a result,
they are banning mp3 players and you're not allowed to carry anything on
unless it's in a clear plastic bag. For seven hours. No tunes, no
books, no magazines. For seven hours. That's brutal. But at least
there's the inflight movies. I remember when I went to London once they
showed Tommy Boy. I was sitting next to a really rather posh yet staid
English businessman type. At one point, he nudged me and had me take
off my earphones and said, "It's quite good, isn't it?" I agreed. FYI,
I'm geekily sending this post via email. Let's see if it works....

EDIT: Ok, well, it worked but then it also had the stupid privacy statement at the end from my email. So maybe I won't be doing this from LB.

Farminals

Farminals is now on You Tube! Check it out and vote for it and with a little luck I could be back as a Captain Beefheart the loveable cow. More sprinkles!