Santy Claus

This is how you should address your letter to Santa Claus according to the United States Postal Service.

I'm about to engage in my annual ritual of watching It's A Wonderful Life! A couple of years ago, my friend and I had an argument about which was the better Christmas movie. IAWL or Miracle on 34th Street. Of course, neither of us had seen the other's movie. (I was championing MOTS). So we watched them back to back together. We fell asleep but eventually watched both of them.

But the result is a love of IAWL. I own it on DVD. Tom Boswell does some narration for the extras. I'm contemplating posting the story of how I "found out" about Santa Claus. But I was thinking, what if either of my nieces read this. And find out before they should find out? So I am hesistating posting that.

They are 2 and almost 5. So I doubt they are cruising the internet. But still. One day, they might. And it will remain there. So I am thinking about letting it be. I might change my mind later in the day and post it there for them to find later thereby ruining Christmas for them one day. Because it is a pretty good story.

Still.

Wheelchair, Get Out Of My Way!*

Sunday, I got to go and see Billy Cosby at the Apollo. It was pretty great. I had always wanted to go there and to see 'Cos' there was tremendous.

But also, there was a moment of complete awkwardness that was just as amazing. There was a woman who was confined to a wheelchair that kept being moved up and down the aisle to find the best spot for her. Porter talks about this in his blog but what he didn't detail which I found fascinating was that this woman was seated in a regular seat at the end of an aisle finally.

And sitting next to her were people she didn't know. And at the end of the show, the people next to her wanted to get by. And so the woman actually said something like, "I'm sorry, I can't move my legs or else I'd get up." And the woman trying to get by was like, "oh, that's ok". And she stood there.

And after awhile said, "said is there somebody we should contact to get you in your wheelchair? Somebody we could wave at?" And the other woman said, "oh no, we normally wait until everybody leaves before he puts me in the wheelchair again."

And you could see the woman who wanted to leave trying to think of any sort of response that would still be borderline polite but still allow her to leave before everyone had left.

She could not think of a response. I was glad. If she had said something else, I think I would have yelled at her.

* This title is inspired by Montel Williams who once came to my high school doing an inspirational speaking gig and the big tag line was, "Mountain, get out of my way!" It was lame. We all made fun of him.

Christian Slater Love

The internet is brilliant. Why do I know this? Because someone found my little bloggy by searching for "Gleaming The Cube blogs". I think that's hilariously awesome. And also, because if you were type that in on Google, shelktone.com is not going to come up like on the first page. I don't even know what page it comes up on. I lost patience to find out. But whoever was researching Gleaming The Cube, they were patient. And they found my site. And probably realized that this was going to be the only mention to Gleaming The Cube on my blog.

It makes me wonder, are there are bunch of G.T.C. blogs? Is there a whole community I'm missing out on. I think I might start a new segment which details really specific and obscure blogs.

Another intriguing search was "how to make scoobes". I can only think I referred to scooby snacks at some point or to Scooby Doo's nick as Scoobes(which Shaggy is wont to call him). But what does scoobes mean in this reference?

Most popular however was searches regarding dradles. Which also, I need to follow-up and take a picture of this giant menorah in our cafeteria. Tomorrow, I promise!!

Daisy Update

Well, as promised, I did watch the first Daisy show. And it was very interesting because the show I think is promoted heavily one way and then the actual show isn't exactly like the promotion. The promotions make it seem like it's just her goofing on people but in fact she switches from being earnest to being zany.

Maybe in other episodes she gets even more zany but in the bounty hunter one, she doesn't. She just sort of interviews the bounty hunters and asks questions. At some points her questions are silly but othertimes they are in fact legitimate questions.

So in some ways I decided I couldn't be as angry at Daisy. And then I watched Millions last night. And guess who's in it? Yep. Daisy. She plays the heart warming love interest of the dad. Her character is this woman who travels around schools and tries to get kids contribute their two pence for kids in Africa. Not only is the movie great. But she is great in it too.

The world is conspiring to make me actually like Daisy.

Michael Knight

Holy Canolies! Just got a new promo email from Apple about how NBC has released a bunch of tv shows for download on iTunes and it's some standard fare like Law & Order and The Office, etc. and then like right at the end, just as a little trail-off it says, ........ and Knight Rider.

WHAT?!!!?!

This is AWESOME. I hope they have the 2 hour pilot. Which was really the first 2 hour pilot that I remember. And it was great. Imagine how much you would have hated life if you were the dude who played Michael Knight before he became reconstructed Michael Knight. You didn't watch the show if you didn't understand that sentence. But yes, if you are a diligent reader and can understand the context of a sentence and infer, you realized there was someone playing Michael Knight before Haselhoff!

What will be next? Wonder Years? Cheers? Moonlighting? Apple is after all of my money. And they are doing a good job of getting it.

Dradle, Dradle, Dradle

I just got some food from the cafeteria(or 'caf' if you are hip) and I noticed how they had set up a Christmas tree for the holidays and next to it, a freaking giant menorah. I've nothing against the display of the menorah. But I'm against how tacky a giant menorah looks. Somehow the size of it distorts it. A menorah looks pretty cool which its at the original size. But this thing was like so huge it's like giant slabs of metal crudely welding together.

Does it please Jewish people to see a giant menorah? Will Jewish parents bring there kids in to work to see it light up night after night? I'm doubtful. I think it's really lame if you brought your kid in to see our Christmas tree too. Or the sled down in the lobby. Yep, there's a 'Santa's sled' down in the lobby. I think you put toys in it for toys for tots or something. So far, no toys. Guess Santa is still loading it up.

I was just thinking of something. Why aren't there more Hanukah movies? I mean, if Jewish people are pretty prevalent in the entertainment biz(and they are). why not? Why are there more Hanukah magic or meaning of Hanukah stories? It starts with a magic premise too. The oil lasting for eight nights.

Maybe they realize that might be lame. It's hard to equate oil lasting for eight nights to a romantic comedy. I guess there's a sexual connection there, but it needs to family friendly! Or maybe it's time for a Hanukah sex comedy.

(I will take a picture of this giant menorah tomorrow.)

When Squirrels Attack

A pack of squirrels attacked and ate a stray dog in a Russian park. Please warn dogs you know.

Grandma Shelkey's Secret Stuffing Recipe

Folks, you are in for a treat. This is pretty much a scoop, a world premiere exclusive. I am going to document how you make Grandma Shelkey's stuffing.

Here is the recipe:



But what does that look like? You need bread, torn up.



Then you need a bowl to mix it in.


Now, you're going to add broth


and butter



Pour that over the bread in your bowl. Add salt, and pepper




Here is where it helps to have fellow stuffing chefs.


Then mix it together in the stuffing.


Cook it for twenty minutes at 350 degrees.


And most importantly! Taste it!


Pretty inspiring, I know. Go forth now. Make amazing stuffing for your family and friends!