They Aren't Chanting Bruce

It has come to my attention that last night Rafael Palmeiro put friggin' EAR PLUGS in when he was batting because he couldn't stand the booing from the fans. That's so lame. Whatever happened to doing the crime, do the time? Because this booing? This is the time too.

Not just that lame 10 day suspension you got. You also get a whole lot of boos, wise ass remarks, maybe some batteries on the field if you're in Philly.

The best part is he went 0 for 4 anyway. I guess it's harder to concentrate without your Giamba Juice! Get it? Jamba---Giambi? Oh, I'm so cutting. I know.

Anyway, Frank Robinson has said that Raffi's records should be erased. Pretty hard core. I would be completely behind this hard coreness if I didn't also realize that Raffi and Frank are right next to each other on the all-time homers list.

Something I miss, or really I only miss because I can only imagine what it must have been like---is booing in the theatre. I miss the days when they'd throw cabbage and tomatoes and boo and hiss when people would enter on the stage. We obviously still have this in sports.

Why not theatre?

I guess because there are no performance enhancing drugs that would make people shame an actor. And there are rival actors but not really rival teams. There should be though. A Battle of the Network Stars but for like stars we actually care about and not the guy who played Buddy on Charles In Charge.

Totes Sidenote: Was reading my friend Sheila's site. And she referenced this site to go and find out what the top 100 songs were of your year of graduation from high school. I did this. And I was relating this to people at McManus last night and I realized what a great song "Let's Hear It For The Boy" is. That awesome keyboard bass hook? The sheer catchiness of the melody? And of course, the brilliance of such lines like:

Maybe he's no Romeo/but he's my lovin' one man show (whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!)

Perfection!

Color My World

Last night we saw The Baxter. It was def top notch! Flynn says it's his favorite ro-co ever.

(By the way, you either say, "ro-co" or "rom-com". You're one or the other. I like ro-co better. Rom-com makes me think of dot-com which isn't really something that is cutesy. Which ro-co's definitely are. Anyhoo...)

It's so sweet. And it reasonates too. But something else. It has Michelle Williams in it. Yes, Michelle Williams from Dawson's Creek Michelle Williams. I think I kind of forgot about her. Apparently, the casting director for The Baxter saw The Station Agent because she's in it. And so is Peter Dinkelage. Who is hilarious in this. He plays the wedding planner.

Michelle Williams in this movie is interesting though for one reason because she dyed her hair. She's got brown hair in this movie. Check it out:

On the left is the blondie we all remember as Jen Lindley. And on the right, is the loveable mousie brown in The Baxter.

And you know what? I think I prefer the brown-haired Michelle. Shocking! Goes against conventional male theory. But it's true. I think part of it, and I think this was calculated in The Baxter, is that she reminds you of Shirley Maclaine in The Apartment. The character she plays does.

And the way her hair's done too. What do you think? Regardless, she wins you in this movie. And you are screaming for Elliott[Showalter] to 'ask the girl to dance'. (Watch the movie, you'll understand.)

(Oh yeah and one more thing, JMU alums will appreciate seeing Jenny Maguire in one bar scene. Go Dukes!)

Let's Go To The Movies, Annie

I went for a double feature with 'Tash on Sunday. The Skeleton Key which is wonderfully scary. And then we watched a bit of The Brothers Grimm which if you are considering watching---at all costs, please do not go! We watched like an hour's worth and nothing had really happened.

I think that movie has no sense of what it wants to be too. It tries to be funny(fails), tries to be scary(fails), and tries to be an adventure(fails due to boredom). If it had concentrated on just one of those elements, it might have succeeded. Also, it has at its premise an idea of merit.

What if the Brothers Grimm were shysters who went town to town telling their stories to scare people? I mean, that's a good start. But it was all downhill from there.

I didn't notice this trend until the second time we were watching another scary movie. The movie people are smart and put trailers for more scary movies before the scary movie you are about to see. One of these is for this terrifying new movie coming out called The Exorcism of Emily Rose I think? Anyway, it looks great. And by that, I mean that it looks absolutely bone-chilling!

It has Laura Linney and Tom Wilkerson in it. And I think that in order to do some sort of scary, dealing with the devil or spirits movie it is absolutely crucial that you have someone with an accent in it. Preferably an English accent. Because you need this person to dole out the requisite exposition to creep you out. But if it's just a normal person telling the ghost story, you're not going to get freaked out.

I mean think about it. When you got told ghost stories as a child, it was always more scary if an adult told it to you, and I think part of it was because they had an accent to you. (Little Kid is an accent. And to a Little Kid, Adult is an accent too.)

As a totes sidenote: I watched Scream 3 on tv last night and can we all just admit what a disappointment that was? After two great movies. Then comes this crap-o-la. The one good scene is where Jenny McCarthy(spoiler!) gets killed. Other than that, my cat's litterbox has better quality film potential.

And three final notes:

--The Jolly Rancher gummy candy isn't worth getting. Ignore it! If you were thinking that it would be as yummy as the Jolly Rancher flavor starbust-like candy, it's not.

--It's fun to sit in the back of a movie theater. Natasha likes to sit back there because you can see the whole screen. I never thought about that before because my vision isn't 100% so I always sit in the middle. But after doing it a couple of times, I like it. 1) You never have to fight for seats. 2) She's right, you can see the whole screen. 3) It's fun to sit in the back because you can hear the projector.

--"Give the maid the night off/Turn that kitchen light off!" from Annie is probably one of my favorite musical theatre couplets ever.

The Cancer of My Intellect

This morning, I was browsing through my ipod when I decided to listen to the Indigo Girls' seminal and eponymous album. I remember the first time I heard them was being covered by All But One in high school. This guy in the band Steve Gupta was telling us about them. They covered(of course) "Closer to Fine". Let me tell you something if you learn this song on guitar, girls will love you. Because they will want to sing it while you play it.

Which reminds me, one day when we were sitting in front of West Springfield High School waiting for our dad to come pick us up. Brent had his guitar(really Ron's guitar but who's counting?)and was absent mindedly playing it. This one dude came up and said, "Do you know 'Free Fallin'? If you do, the chicks go crazy for it!"

Now, "Free Fallin'"(no offense to T. Petty) is an insanely easy song to play. Which I think is very funny. That it is THIS song that makes the girls go crazy. But this was 1990 so maybe they did then.

But this is all prologue. What I really wanted to talk about was something that's always bothered me about the Indigo Girls. It's their damn wordiness. It's too much. It's conceited. It's pretentious and it just sticks out at you.

For instance, I was listening to "Love's Discovery" I think it's called. It's an Emily song and you know you're going to find these words in Emily's songs. Amy's more the rocker so she doesn't think as much about it but Emily has to put these little turns of phrases in there.

Like "the cancer of my intellect". Ugh! Something about it just sticks out and pains me. There are others which I will detail as they come to me. You'll note that the big hits of their career are invariably songs without these little gems.

They're simple. Straight to the point. I think people like that. I mean the names even reflect that, "Closer To Fine", "Least Complicated", "Galileo". Er...

I mean, there's another one! "Galileo". You know, king of Night Vision, king of insight? WTF?! Who thinks that?

I still love the Indigo Girls. I just think they take themselves a little too seriously. By the by, the worst Indigo Girls song? Easily, "Joking". Easily!

You Scream, I Scream

Last night, Huck Slim played in Union Square again. But we were thinking about possibly moving our spot. It became apparent that there were a number of rats running around. First, we saw two. And then we realized there were prolly more like four or five.

Mind you, these rats were running around behind us around our torsos. So if they wanted to, they could very easily just sidle over to us and sneak attack. Thankfully, they did not decide to do this. They seemed more interested in chasing each other. Perhaps the precursor to rat humping?

I'm not sure.

In other fun news, one of the strange things we got as a tip was someone put half off a birthday cake down for us. I didn't have any but Vince and James did. I'll bet the rats would have had a piece too if they weren't too busy chasing tail.

Little kids seem to dig Huck Slim. This one kid was transfixed by James' 'jambourine'. James believes that the kid couldn't wrap his head around how someone could be playing guitar and jambourine at the same time. You know, maybe he was just digging the music, ok?

Also, a girl left a postcard for rooftop films. Apparently, they have bands sometimes. Hmm.... a rooftop concert could be fun. The Beatles... U2... Huck Slim!

Burgertime

So Arsenal went to Better Burger last night. Was it truly a better burger?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it was NOT a better burger.

It was fine. It was good. It was delicious. But as far as my favorite burgers in the city? Nope. No way. First off, the fixin's are diced in a peculiar way so that the pickles and tomatoes seem like they are red and green peppers. And the bun tastes like it's healthy. Never a good thing.

The bun is so important. It's a carrier agent that delivers the burger to your mouth. It needs to be good in order for you to receive the burger. If it's faulty, you might get discouraged and put that hunk of meat down.

A word on the fries though, these were good. Plus they had the chip fork. Which is brills. Why the chip fork hasn't made much of a dent in the U.S. is news to me.

In case you were wondering, the best burger in New York City is still from Paul's. In the East Village. I was so excited when I moved to the E.V. when I realized that I could order take-out from Paul's. Still, Paul's is best enjoyed at Paul's as the burgers get soggy in the transit time.

Better Burger indeed!

Don't Eat The Wedding Cake

Yesterday 'Tash and Brett got married! I just realized that posting this picture here makes it look like Natasha and I got married. This is NOT true.

The bride was wearing what I like to think of as sort of fairy tale shoes.

See how they are all glittery and shiny? They seem like Dorothy's shoes. But only like when she got married.

Well, there was a lot of cake and cupcakes. And I was thinking about that old tradition people have about saving a slice of wedding cake and putting it under your pillow and then you'd dream that night of who you would marry. Does anyone do that anymore? Because let me tell you, all the cake was gone last night. But maybe someone already had saved a slice.

And also, what if you have one of those quirky dreams where you are (in the dream) romantically entangled with someone that you don't think you would want to be? What happens then? Like let's say, you're Maria on Sesame Street and you dream of Oscar that night. Do you think that Maria would (at least briefly) consider what it would be like to marry a grouch? And do we think that such dreams would influence you one way or the other?

I wonder... I wish I had saved a slice. What if I'm marrying Snuffy?(We'd be a quiet couple prolly. Keep to ourselves a lot.)

A Rolling Moss Gets Stoned

Really, I hate most athletes. They are such jerks. Shaq always gets me annoyed. And of course, there's T.O. being a complete jagoff. But here's another bonehead move of the week---which Ken Brenner from D.C., the Channel 9 sports guy, used to have a segment for---it was called The Weenie of the Week.

This week, it's Randy Moss for going on HBO and proclaiming that he has used marijuana while being in the NFL and that he would probably do it again.

Then afterwards he tried to recant by saying "A lot of people are jumping to conclusions because they really don't know the real story or haven't even heard the real story yet," he said. "That was really me talking in the past tense of way back in the beginning of my career and my childhood _ especially in high school and college."

Somebody should teach Randy how the function of tense works in our language. That if you are talked about the past, you should refer to it in the past and not in the present or the future.

Also from the Post:

Moss's agent, Dante DiTrapano, said HBO was trying to intentionally damage the player's reputation. He also said Moss was talking about past use.

"In an attempt to promote their dying network, they have maliciously couched his remarks in a manner that is confusing and leaves room for negative interpretation," DiTrapano told The Associated Press. "Randy is not in the NFL substance abuse program and has complied with all urinalysis required by the league, the team, insurance companies, endorsers, etc."

I underlined a portion there.

THEIR DYING NETWORK? HBO? The network with the Sopranos? Six Feet Under? Larry David? This is a dying network?

I think Randy and Dante must smoke up together.

Electric Company

So because of said manhole problem, Con Ed has been working on my patch of 1st Ave for the whole week. Recently, the super of our buildling put up signs all over which read:

'Currently, we are operating on 1/4 power from Con Ed. They request to conserve electricity as much as possible. For example: NO AC, non-essential lighting being turned off, and no cooking.'

No cooking? No a/c? No way! I chose the third option so I normally have one light off and let the cats use their night vision. I read somewhere that cats can see in the dark but not the absolute dark. Who can see in the absolute dark? Also, where is absolute dark? This sounds to me like some sort of theoretical notion like absolute zero or Plato's perfect table, or the idea of time slowing down as you approach the speed of light. It might be true, but it's hard to prove.

I will be setting out to prove this by conserving as much electricity as possible. Luckily, this 1/4 power dealie isn't really noticeable in the apartment like it was on that dark and stormy night(err... Sunday). That night it was like whenever there's a naval battle scene on a submarine and they've been hit. The lights start blinking, claxons are blaring, and the tv is blinking on and off intermitently.

Well, that's what my tv was doing anyway.

Huck Slim tonight!

Tonight there will be a short Huck Slim show at the C-Note. 7:00 pm-7:30 pm, and it's free!

Check it out if you are in the area.

7th Grade Nate

This is an excerpt from a journal that I wrote in for my teacher Mrs. Cox in 7th grade at Washington Irving Middle School.

Assignment Journal
Nate Shelkey
Period 4
9/4/86

My Favorite Theme Park

Walt Disney World, the biggest and best theme park. Walt Disney World has all kinds of rides, shows, exhibits etcetera. I had a fiberglass cast when I went to the park along with a single crutch. You see, I broke my leg a while back in May. Well, my family rented a wheel chair for me at the park. I had been in one at the Capitol a week ago so I knew the basic operation procedures. My brother took the handles on the back and we were off!

By reading the handbook, I received on my way in I found it possible to cut lines for people in wheelchairs. I was accessible to every ride and exhibit even Space Mountain with an exception to the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse.

If you’ve never visited the park and/or heard of Walt Disney or seen his films it might be confusing to read that last entry. Explanation: This park is of rides made from the movies and characters of Walt’s movie hence the Swiss Family Robinson Tree house. Walt wanted an amusement park with kind service, clean grounds and a variety of rides and that’s what it is. The rides are all very fun in their own way and colorfully illustrated. The shows, well the shows I didn’t see(not much time you see we only stayed 3 days for Walt Disney World and Epcot Center). The exhibits were at times fascinating. The park has almost everything except low prices and short lines. But my solution if you have a sore muscle so you can’t walk for long distances, get a wheelchair and bring a friend to wheel you a round and you’ve got it made in Disney World, my favorite theme park!

The Zoo

I went to the National Zoo this weekend with family including my adorable niece Caroline.


I saw some trends in my zoo watching. As you'd expect, there would be a lot of




SLEEPING

You had all your standard animals of course.


Your cheetah

Your gorilla

Your seals

Your giraffe

Your hedgehog

One of the definite highlights was seeing this baby elephant get washed








We were trying to figure out what sex this one ape was. He looked pretty manly but then my dad pointed out, "He has boobs!"


Indeed, he did.

Sometimes though, the various statues were almost more interesting. Because what if a frog actually did look like


It would be pretty cool wouldn't it?

Man holes

There was a big commotion last night in my building because the power went out. But not only that but there were two HUGE booms. I was watching tv at the time so I assumed that they were thunder. I was of course, wrong.

The booms turned out to be some man hole covers that exploded. Or they shot up into the air. Something like that. Point being it was the sound of the manhole covers exploding into the air, not thunder. It was caused by the storm of course.

Dogs will often be scared by storms. I noticed that neither of my cats were particularly bothered. Except when the power went out. Then the power came back on but it was weakened. My apartment looks like it is lit by candlelight right now. And the juice apparently isn't strong enough to work for the tv, the internet, or the air conditioner.

Anyway, I went downstairs to find out what was up and on every floor were people peeking out of their doors curious as to what was going on. I saw fire engines and heard sirens and I think everyone was thinking the same thing. Is the building on fire? Surely if it's on fire, someone will let us know right?

They put up some do not cross police style tape near the man holes. Which it being the East Village, someone promptly just walked through.

My cats eat everything

They really really do.

I went to put on a pair of boxer's today and there were like four different holes in the pair I took at. I have to remember to put away every single piece of clothing before I go to bed, or before I get up in the morning or else they will start chomping away.

To date, I have lost to the kitten chomp-a-lots:

--one pair of dress pants
--at least 4 pairs of socks
--one long sleeve shirt
--prolly three t-shirts
--two pairs of boxers
--at least two shoe laces
--one partially chewed baseball cap

Part of me thinks they just don't know what is supposed to taste good so they'll try anything. I mean, they've only had two kinds of food in their lives. This dry Science Diet food and I gave them wet food once. (They didn't like it.) The few times that human food has fallen their way, they are suspicious alouicious about it.

But if a sock drops on the ground, they start chewing away!

Friendster covers everything

Do you see this? Friendster just added this new option when you have to fill out your 'status'. So you can put in if you're single or in a relationship, or if you're married. And now, if 'it's complicated'.

This is nothing short of brilliant. And what's more, it's a great conversation starter. I mean, if you're going to check 'it's complicated', you know there's bound to be some sort of story involved.

I might even change my status to 'it's complicated' so just so I have some cache of mystery around me.

World Class Jerk

I think I've hated Shaquille O'Neal for just about as long as he's been in the league. But now he's taken it to absurd heights yet again. In case you haven't heard, he signed a 100 million dollar contract with the Heat. Which whatever, if they're going to pay him that, fine. But he wanted to make sure that he was the league's highest paid player at least for the next two years. And then the worst?

This quote:

"This contract allows me to address all of my family's long-term financial goals while allowing the Heat the ability to acquire those players that we need to win a championship," O'Neal said.

Whatever, dude. What are your family's long-term financial goals? To build a swimming pool full of cash? The worst of these statements was mos def Spree's pronouncement that he had to feed his family. Put food in their mouths.

I want to know who teaches them this b.s. Is it from their agents or did they dream up this crap themselves? Sometimes, I really just hate athletes. If he just said, I wanted a boatland of cash-o-la, then I wouldn't be as annoyed. But they have to pretend that they are put upon. For making millions of dollars.

Totally Strange Requests Live

So last night, Huck Slim played in Union Square. And over the past couple of times there, we've noted a few odd requests for songs. "Old Brown Jug" being one. I think this guy was making a joke at first because he asked if we were the Kingston Trio. He then figured we were too young to be them. He finally implored us to sing this song called "Old Brown Jug". It's a little kids song. The chorus being:

Ha, ha, ha, you and me
Little brown jug, don't I love thee!
Ha, ha, ha, you and me
Little brown jug, don't I love thee!

But then you realize it's all about drinking! What a subversive song.

Another guy wanted us to sing a Maroon 5 song. Which actually I think could be a great idea. I was disappointed we couldn't Johnny-on-the-spot the request. In the past, we've been able to handle some non-Huck titles like Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me".

But rest assured, we do now know "Little Brown Jug".