Nate Shelkey

I’m shocked and dismayed. I feel very much like Kramer because someone has stolen my idea! A few years ago, Ben Rodgers and I came up with a brilliant (and I think) groundbreaking idea. Pizza toppings are very diverse. You have twelve major toppings:

–pepperoni(the king)
–cheese(the queen)
–mushroom(the third wheel)
–green peppers
–sausage(meat runner up)
–ham(normally only ordered with his lover)
–pineapple(great couple, i love them together)
–onion(no one orders a pizza with just onion, there’s a reason, it wouldn’t be good)
–black olive(part of the veggie family)
–green olive(the more ignored olive brother in pizza land, but i will argue the more interesting olive)
–anchovy(this is normally the dealbreaker when you say with everything)
(it’s like when i was working at subway, people would say with everything but they never really meant with everything. 9/10 the hot peppers were not for them)

And finally, #12: hamburger

Which is the part I’d like to focus on. Look at all those toppings. What’s in a pizza? Tomatoes. Cheese. Bread. If you put hamburger meat on them, then isn’t it already close to being a hamburger? And here is where Rodgers and my brilliance come in. What about a hamburger that’s in the shape of a pizza. And it’s that big. You’d have a burger pie!

Wouldn’t you eat that? I would. Cut it into eight slices. It’d be great at parties. Well, apparently someone else thought so too because they totally jacked our idea. I saw an ad in today’s metro for some place now making our burger pies.

I will scan this ad in when I get home tonight. Ben and I should get some lawyers.

Also, in an effort to make this blog more educational I’m including a pie chart that I found as the result of some research of Settles Bridge Elementary in Cumming Georgia. You’ll note sausage is only 3% behind pepperoni as the favorite topping.

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